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Do we need to require sport in school curriculum?

Kim Truong 3 / 4 1  
May 28, 2018   #1

participation in sports during education

A school has two main functions: educate young people and equip them with essential skills for adulthood. These days, several parents generate a debate that whether or not the curriculum require sport as a part of a compulsory subject. Some people claim that doing sport in school flitter time and are not as useful as math or reading; the others believe that students take many benefits from playing soccer, baseball, basketball, etc. Sport is not only improved physical health but also promote mental clarity.

Sport is a key leading to healthy life. A high schooler who attend physical education class is three times more likely be stronger and healthier than one do not. Hitting the gym, playing soccer or running mean we have to spend an amount of energy to keep our body work properly. Moreover, more and more doctors encourage teenagers to play sport in order to bolster their height and reduce risks of diabetes.

Another advantage of sports is that providing youth opportune metal health. After a stressful day, playing sports consider as a physical treatment to reduce stress. Furthermore, if a high schooler takes part in sports clubs, he will be able to make some friends. According to a recent study, young people who take sports classes master critical thinking skill, work well with other people, and adapt to every condition.

Although there are disagree opinion about offering participation in sports as a part of the curriculum, we cannot deny the advantages of taking part in physical education classes. Sports help teenager maintain health and also aggrandize mental clarity.

Buivandat 2 / 3 1  
May 29, 2018   #2
there are several mistakes in your essay above. For example:
1. there are disagree opinion --> wrong sentence structure
2. ...: educate young people and equip them --> educating, equiping
3. Sport is not only improved ... --> wrong structure
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,788 2605  
May 29, 2018   #3
Kim, since you failed to provide the complete prompt instructions for us to consider your writing on, I will only focus my advice on the obvious content errors of your work. One of the basis of the Task 2 essay is your ability to use popular information, without required research. Your familiarity with the topic is seen by your ability to generate an analysis of the given topic, based on personal knowledge or experience.

While this is an academic essay, it is not an academic research essay. Therefore, you cannot refer to vague results of studies or references to illnesses that might be helped by playing sports. These are information that require in-text citation and as such, will create problems regarding the validity of the information you are presenting. General information that is well known is always the best presentation to make in these instances.

Don't overcomplicate the essay by referring to studies and doctor encouragement. Doctor's encourage people to do many things in relation to various health aspects, not just diabetes. So keep your references general in order to be more effective. If the prompt allows you to, use personal experience or knowledge to strengthen the discussion.

Let me end this discussion by reminding you that in order to gain more valuable and insightful advice regarding the improvement of your essay writing skills, you need to provide us with a copy of the original instructions. Post it in the text box next time and I will be sure to give you the best and most relevant advice to help you improve your essay writing skills.

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