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IELTS Writing task 1_ the requirement of coal per person in 15 countries


ncm 2 / -  
Jul 31, 2011   #1
Hi everyone, this is my first post, and i hope i will get some useful feedback from all of you.
Thank you so much!

The table shows the requirement of coal per person in 15 highly populated countries in 2005. Overall, it is clearly seen that the demand of energy in industrialized countries are higher (first group), nearly three times as much as in other two group combined.

The industrialized nations consist of USA, Germany, UK, Russia and France. USA had the highest of consumption in coal, it was twice as high as others countries in this group. The statistics of France was lowest, but it was still higher than all countries in other groups.

The next group of five countries has energy requirement ranging from 3839 kg in Japan to 646 kg in Brazil. In this group, the data of Italy is 3277 kg; it is three times as much as in Mexico.

Five countries in last group are less industrialized nations, so they have the lowest needs of coal. Turkey has the highest requirement in this group with 628 kg per person. However, it is lower than Brazil and just one fifth of Japan. Egypt, Philippines and Thailand have the similar demand over 300 kg, while India is in the bottom of energy needs with 201 kg.

All in all, the high demand of energy largely coverage in industrialized countries such as USA, Germany, UK...



ajit88rai 22 / 188 3  
Jul 31, 2011   #2
Rephrase your last paragraph.

-Industralized doesnt seems to be an appropriate word here. You can use "technologically advanced" term or "developed and developing" term.

-Anyways your English is great n u wud get a good score in this task for sure

good luck and cheers
oonguyenminh 3 / 3  
Aug 20, 2011   #3
The industrialized nations consist of USA, Germany, UK, Russia and France. USA had the highest of consumption in coal, it was twice as high as others countries in this group. The statistics of France was lowest , but it was still higher than all countries in other groups.

-> I think you should omit "of"
others -> other
lowest -> the lowest


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