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A research in which people were interviewed about communication abilities critical in their jobs


Castro 2 / 2  
Dec 6, 2016   #1
The table reveals information about the outcome of research in 1997 and 2006, in which society are interviewed which communication abilities are critical in their works. Overall, it can be seen that there were different aspects which were asked between external and internal communication skills, that shows the highest percentage of both was dealing with people while the lowest was making speeches or presentations.

In external communication, dealing with people hit point at 65% in 2006, but in previous it deceased slightly at 60% ; more over knowledge of particular products or services become the second important at 35 percent in 1997 and it was slight rose by 6% in 2006 from 35%. In addition, selling a product or service was the lowest in external communication skills. It stood at 24% in 1997 and it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 from 24%.

In other word, listening carefully to colleagues was the biggest rate in internal communication skills at 38% in 1997 and it was slight inclined at 47 percent in 2006. Furthermore, the lowest number in this part was making speeches or presentations at 47% and it was slight rose by 4 percent in 2006 from 7%.




nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Dec 6, 2016   #2
Hello @Castro!
Allow me to give you some suggestions.

Take a look at your first body paragraph.
You have missed one of external communication skill which is "advising or caring for costumers or clients", then you put "knowledge of particular products or services become the second important at 35 percent in 1997" it was totally wrong since the second position was "advising or caring" at 36%.

It stood at 24% in 1997 and it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 from 24%.

Repitition

Move to the second body
You put wrong data again.
Furthermore, the lowest number in this part was making speeches or presentations at 47% 7% and it was a slight roserise by 4 percent in 2006 from 7%.

Hope it helps you :)
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Dec 7, 2016   #3
Dear Castro, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

...that showsshowed the highest percentage of both was dealing with people while the...

...and it was a slight roserise by 6% in 2006 fromto35%41%.

...it declined slightly by 3% in 2006 from 24%to 21%.

...it was a slight inclinedincline at 47 percent in 2006.

...it was a slight roserise by 4 percent in 2006 from 7%.

Overall, you have a good essay and you can cover all of the information from the shown table chart. However, it would be better if you make some comparisons among data in the table graph.

Regards
yika 6 / 12 1  
Dec 7, 2016   #4
Hello, this is my correction for you

but in previous it deceaseddecreased slightly at 60%

it was slightslightly rose by 6% in 2006 from 35% (you must write adjective)

In other wordother words or another word(remember that "another" to show singular and "other" to show plural)

and it was slightslightly inclined (you must write adjective)

was slightslightly rose by 4 percent (you must write adjective)

thank you


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