Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS writing task 2. Resembling of most countries today. Positive or negative development?

cuban27 4 / 9 2  
Nov 13, 2017   #1
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Globalization has changed the world as we once knew it. Every day people around the globe are acquiring alike products such as clothes, books or art items with internet help. One of the consequences of this situation is the resembling of most countries these days. Whether this is a positive or a negative outcome should be analyzed carefully before making any decision.

First, social, cultural, artistic and even economic diversity among countries must be protected now more than ever due to globalization. The possibility of losing countries identity by this phenomenon of people around the world buying the same products it is clearly a negative result of this tendency. Nowadays, a teenager looks the same no matter where he or she lives; in contrast, former generations were more diver in these issues.

In addition, countries are losing not only their identity regarding clothes and looks but also in artistic matters. Today a person is able to buy or sell by internet any piece of art from any country in the world. This trend is affecting singularity in artistic and cultural areas within a country.

Looking at the positive side of this situation, internet and globalization, in general, allow people from elsewhere to acquire any product they need or want easily. People from countries where there was not available sort of items, now are buying them by the internet, for instance, medicine, food or household tools.

To conclude, despite the fact that this tendency has a positive side, it is believed that the negative implications overweight the positive ones. The identity of countries should endure many years in the future.
summerlin 5 / 12 2  
Nov 13, 2017   #2
... with internet help.

I would write:
... books or art items with the help of the Internet.
OP cuban27 4 / 9 2  
Nov 13, 2017   #3
Please @Holt I need your help with this essay, you posted an amazing message in my first essay and I am hoping you could help me with this one, I have to do my IELTS test next month! thanks in advance
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,672 4113  
Nov 14, 2017   #4
Hi Dariela, don't worry, I will always get around to reviewing your essay. We have a queuing system that brings the essays into my workload in the manner that it entered the system. I follow the list and get to everyone who needs reviews as soon as I get to their work in the list. Don't worry, I will help you prepare for the test provided you continue to be a participating member at this forum.

The paraphrase that you did seems to begin a discussion of the topic when only an overview is required. I think this is because of the short prompt that you were given. This was a test to see how well you could paraphrase the short prompt. This is also what forced you to begin the discussion in the wrong place. When a prompt is this short, you can extend your paraphrase by individualizing the discussion points:

These days, globalization has allowed the same products to be sold across the globe. This has caused countries and their people to become more identical due to product availability. As such, I believe that this trend is a negative development. The reasons I have for this opinion will be discussed below.

At this point you have 3 body of paragraphs that you can use to defend you opinion as stated in the opening paraphrase. The format should be:

Body 2 - Reason 1
Body 3 - Reason 2
Body 4 - Reason 3

You can individualize the discussions of the reasons in this manner. This will allow you to better present your explanations in a clear manner. Additionally, you can also count out (First, Second, Third) the reasons in a more applicable manner. Using the numbering at the start of the paragraph helps you to better outline your presentation as well.

There is no need to balance this discussion with a positive presentation because the discussion instruction requires only one opinion coming from you. There is no comparative instruction so discussing both opinions is not required and will result in a prompt alteration. In most instances, a prompt alternation results in a failing score because of your inability to follow the given instructions. So make sure you discuss only the required points in the essay, nothing more, nothing less.
OP cuban27 4 / 9 2  
Nov 14, 2017   #5
Thank you so much, I wish I had found this website sooner. I am happy to have you to review my essays, I know I will become better after following your advice. I will continue uploading my essays to this amazing forum. I am absolutely eager to continue helping people struggling like me.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2. Resembling of most countries today. Positive or negative development?