Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Residential housing - Alteration in America Village between 1994 and 2010


tamtamii 9 / 7  
Mar 27, 2017   #1

Houses and Residential Buildings



The Map below shows the changes in an American town between 1994 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The maps illustrate about the alteration of some buildings is in an American village between 1948 and 2010. It can be seen that north west and south east of town had experienced alteration some construction significantly in the couple of years.

To begin, north west side of canal in 1948 had few features such as factories, petrol station, residential houses and local supermarket from the north side to the south side. Petrol station was the only feature which existed in both of the years. Factories in 1948 had been altered into airport in 2010. Opposite of the gas station in 1948 was garden albeit it changed into commercial building and supermarket. In 2010, commercial building also existed in cross road, but before that in 1948 houses and local supermarket still existed.

On the other hand, the features in south east side were only two buildings such as residential houses and church in 1948. However, church was altered into sport stadium over six-decade. In addition, residential houses did not experience alteration in the couple of the year.





Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Mar 27, 2017   #2
Hermin, as a rule of thumb, you will increase your chances of a higher score in the TA and GRA sections of your essay if you do your best to develop your paragraphs using the 3-5 sentence rule. The longer the paragraph, the better chances you have of developing complex sentences and an impressive lexical resource that could help to boost your final score. Your opening statement could have used the increased sentence presentation, as the concluding sentence benefited from your 3 sentence presentation. Aim for a consistency when presenting comparison information. It would be best for you and the reader if you do not mix the year presentations in one paragraph. Since you were provided with two drawings to use for the comparison essay, you could have discussed each image as a separate paragraph, creating 2 body paragraphs that accurately discussed the development and changes of the drawings while also setting your essay up for a more solid concluding paragraph. The improved conclusion would have been the direct result of the more informative body of paragraphs within the essay. As is, this essay would probably garner a score of 5.


Home / Writing Feedback / Residential housing - Alteration in America Village between 1994 and 2010
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳