Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


The resistance to change is a striking human's instinctive trait [IELTS TASK 2]


hailung 6 / 18 2  
Sep 1, 2017   #1
People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

reluctance to change



It is not uncommon that resistance to change is a striking human's instinctive trait. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences, some steps can be taken to mitigate these potential problems.

Being reluctant to change can decelerate human evolution and civilization. If early human races' inner fears of the unknown were far greater than an eagerness to find new homes, they wound be content with their status quo and and the turning point in human evolution was unlikely to take place. From individual perspective, resistance to change is the biggest obstacle preventing excellence. For example, employees may not bring out the best in them since the dread of failure outweighs the rewards, leading to a monotonous world where people are afraid to be different. This means either world famous inventors or advanced gadgets would not exist while outbreak of epidemics would threaten existence of human beings.

However, there are several actions can be taken to solve the problems described above. Firstly, organizations should promote a culture where changes are encouraged. By being tolerate to losses and rewarding innovation, uncertainties will be replaced by excellence and other scientific breakthroughs. In addition, competition should be held both locally and internationally to fuel major successes in all areas. By taking part in a contest, contestants have to present and defend their most compelling ideas in order to achieve highest prize. Kickstarter and other crowdfunding platforms have proved their efficiency in inspiring and empower young people to make changes for the better. An increasing number of ideas turning into real-life commodities, in fact, shows a brighter outlook for the future of human kind.

In conclusion, while struggling to change hinders evolution of human being to individual level, a transparent and supporting culture may eliminate the risks involved in change process, thereby boost revolution in every domain of life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Sep 1, 2017   #2
Kenzin, your prompt paraphrase and actual discussion of the essay is leaning on the wrong side. This means that your essay is not entirely in accordance with the prompt requirements as indicated in the original discussion. You need to make sure that you accurately address the original topic and instructions in the first paragraph so that you can get a high TA score and hopefully, the correct paraphrase will also help you discuss the body of paragraphs within the required parameters. The opening statement should be indicative as follows:

People have been known as creatures who do not really like it when events in their lives change. This resistance to normal changes normally causes certain problems for those who remain unable to cope with the evolution of their lives. This essay will discuss the types of problems that the human resistance to change causes and also offer a suggestion as to how these changes can be resolved.

You do not really offer a concrete example of how the changes in the life a person can occur. You turned this into a psychological profile discussion when what was required was an example of the problem and a possible solution. 2 highly simple topics to present. For example:

One of the changes that humans resist is related to the way they need to sometimes change the place where they live. Their fear of leaving the familiarity of a place and the friends that they have made causes them to fear the change in their residence. Hence their reluctance to leave their original home. Yet, circumstances force these changes to happen and they manage to adapt to the situation.

The paragraph above depicts a simple problem regarding the human reluctance to change and the reasons why they are sometimes resistant to the idea. The next paragraph offers a solution to the problem:

In an effort to resolve this sort of fear, a person needs to first understand the underlying causes of the change. For children, maybe their parents need to work in a new place. For adults, maybe they need to move to a new place in order to seek better opportunities. The point is, when a change is being made, a person must first understand what the reasons are for the change to take place. This helps him become less reluctant and more accepting of change.

For the conclusion, the more appropriate approach would have been:

While people will continue to be resistant to change due to certain reasons, this does not erase the fact that change is required in human lives. Though resistant to change, a person will always accept that it eventually has to happen. With enough thought and reasoning, the problem of resisting change can be overcome in a manner that makes a person accept change.

Learn to look at the smaller picture when writing these essays. You need to keep it interesting, related to the original topic, and also offer reasonable solutions that can easily be undertaken by individuals. You are not discussing world peace here, just man's resistance to change, one a localized level. Remember, one topic per paragraph should be discussed in order to help you better develop your reasoning and also, so you won't lose focus of the actual discussion.
OP hailung 6 / 18 2  
Sep 15, 2017   #3
Hi @Holt thank you for your remarks. I've finished the final work, please take a look at it and provide me some insights on my writing.

People have been known as creatures who do not really like it when events in their lives change. This resistance to normal changes causes certain problems for those who are unable to cope with the evolution of their lives. However, some steps can be taken to mitigate those potential liabilities.

One of the change human resist is related to the way they need to sometimes change the place where they live. This is because their fear of leaving the familiarity and ambiance of their current residence and friends they have made while settling in in a new place is all about uncertainties. For example, a man who has been living in an apartment in the city outskirts for years and is acquainted with a great number of like-minded friends would find it difficult to move into the city center. Despite of being convenient, his new home is more likely to be small and the fact that he has to do everything from scratch will definitely discourage his willingness to leave. In addition, his children also prefer staying at their old home rather than making new friends at a totally new nursery school.

In an effort to resolve that sort of fear, a person needs to first understand the underlying causes of the change. For children, maybe their parents need to work in a new place. For adult, maybe changing accommodation would be difficult at first, but in the long-term, short commute distance may shorten travel time, thus increase their productivity. In addition, they may seal better opportunity in a new company. The bottom line is when a change being made, a person must first understand what the reasons are for the change to take place. This helps him become less reluctant and more accepting of change.

While people will continue to be resistant to change due to certain reasons, this does not erase the fact that change is required in human lives. Through resistance to change, a person will always accepts it eventually has to happen. With enough thought and reasoning, the problem of resistant change can be overcome in a manner that makes a person accept change.


Home / Writing Feedback / The resistance to change is a striking human's instinctive trait [IELTS TASK 2]
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳