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Respect the environment by travelling with responsible manner - IELTS : Writing Task 2


Some people argue that tourism could effect the traveler destinations negatively. The effects are primarily related to issues of global warming and man-made climate change.

In my view, I cannot deny that tourism activity gives some negative impacts to the environment. Even though the countries which people visit gain income from the tourism, the harmful effects of that activity cannot be avoided. Some of the negative impacts from tourism occur when the amount of visitors is greater than the environment's ability to deal with the visitor volume. Tourism development may lead to soil erosion, increased pollution and litter, raised pressure on endangered species of animals and plants, and heightened vulnerability to deforestation, as well as loss of biodiversity. The environmental costs of exotic tourism on an industrial scale have become all too evident. For instance, the Everest Base Camp, The 17,598-foot trekkers' refuge high in the Nepali Himalayas is now strewn with rubbish from years of climbing expeditions.

Some countries have tried to protect their environment. For Example, In Bhutan, authorities used to cap the total number of tourist visas issued per year. However, those are not enough to avoid the demaging effects of tourisme. Tourists also have to take action for those issues by using technology to avoid waste. Purchase electronic-tickets for airline travel and use mobile technology for boarding passes and ask for invoices to be emailed instead of having a paper receipt that will go to waste or have to be recycled. In addition, look up the environmental record of the hotel or resort you're staying in, choose a tour company that is ecologically friendly, and avoid destinations that are already overdeveloped.

In conclusion,traveling is a wonderful adventure. Do it in a sensitive and responsible way will make the experiences more meaningful and authentic. As a tourist, everyone has to keep a good manner and respect the environment.

Oct 6, 2015   #2
Some countries have tried to protect their environment. For Example, In Bhutan, authorities used to cap the total number of tourist visas issued per year(you should give some more explanation and result also for this example) . However, those are not enough to avoid the damaging effects of tourism . Tourists also have to take action for those issues by using technology to avoidpreventing waste(waste what?) . Purchases of electronic- tickets for airline travel and use mobile technology for boarding passesandthen ask for invoices to be emailed instead of having a paper reception that will go to waste or have to be recycled. In addition, look up the environmental records of the hotel or resort you're staying in, choose a tour company that is ecologically friendlier , and avoid destinations that are already overdeveloped.
First, you havr to know that manner has completely different meanings with manners. Go check dicionary. Use manners in your essay.
In conclusion,traveling is a wonderful adventure. Doing it in a sensitive and responsible way will make the experiences more meaningful and authentic.
Some people argue that tourism could effect the travelers' destinations negatively.affect
And the second sentence of the first paragraph should be the topic sentence. But in the following paragraph, you mention neither global warming or climate change. Topic sentence serves as a guidance to the overall essay.So, you will have to either restrcuture your topic sentence or write according to your topic sentence.
Dear Baniu,

I suggest you to follow certain essay pattern, so that you can explain your view easily.

In introduction paragraph you have started to write body part.

Need to follow the task 2 essay format first.
Introduction:
First <Paraphrase> <Thesis Statement><outline what you are going to do>
Word length approx: 30 to 50 no more than that.

Body:
First Paragraph: <main idea>< explanations><example>
Second Paragraph: <main idea>< explanations><example>
Each paragraph word length approx: 90 to 100 words

Conclusion:
Word length approx: 30 to 50 words
hi Ochio, i think your idea is good, but let me try to give some suggestions on your passage.

I suggest you in paragraph one, you can write just for the introduction. so, you can split your body paragraph from there.
in the second paragraph in your essay, you can follow this pattern ( one idea, reason, example, effect, and your conclusion)

In my view, I cannot deny that tourism activity gives some negative impacts to the environment. Even though the countries whichwhere people visit can gain income from the tourism, the harmful effects of that activity cannot be avoided. Some of the negative impacts from tourism occurs when the amount of visitors isare greater than the environment's ability to deal with the visitor volumethe volume of visitors .

However, those are not enough to avoid the demagingdamaging effects of tourismetourism .
The opening paragraph has failed in presenting background information and thesis statement, since some ideas go somewhere and are too bulky. let me helo you fot the intro;

Some people argue that tourism could effect the traveler destinations negatively. The effects are primarily related to issues of global warming and man-made climate change

Tourism brings adverse effects. It is believed that human-induced-global warming and climate change, since negative behaviors in tourisms appear around the attractions. Not only this, I would argue that mass tourism is also negatively associated with long-term socio-economic tourist areas .

As see, I break my opening paragraph into three sentences. The first one is called a hook. Some students shun writing a hook in IELTS, since it is unnecessary. However, your intro looks more appealing with a hook. Following this, I simply paraphrase the prompt as the background information. Then it is a thesis statement raised prior to ending this paragraph.


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