the responsibility for helping the poor countries
Do the rich countries or the governments of the poor countries should take responsibility for people in poor countries?
Nowadays, when the people's lives are becoming more and more enhanced, the poverty in some countries around the world is a big issue. Both of the governments of the countries and the wealthy nations should be under obligation to give a favor with the poor.
Firstly, the rich countries can propose helping-hand policies for the poor countries. In short term, they can supply food aid or a certain small fund immediately as having urgent situation. In long term, there are so many scholarships for talent students which the wealthy nations give for the poor. Besides, they also brings building projects to help the poor get access to better life. In fact, the richest economy country in the world- United States donates billions of dollars to the Middle East and North Africa annually that they can pass over the wars and starvations. Therefore, it's so important assistances from the wealthy nations.
Secondly, in the poor countries, the authority should let their citizens broaden their knowledge. By the internet, local media, they will know about development of the world recently so that they will learn or work hard or even become more creative. It means that encouraging and giving them motivation can make possibly effective steps which contribute to build their country. For instance, Korea, after the second worldwide war, was one of the poorest countries but thanks to the smart opening policies of the government, Koreans rapidly recovered Korea's economy position in nearly 20 years. Thus, decisions of the government also play essential roles.
In conclusion, the responsibility for helping the poor countries should be shared with their authority and the rich countries.
thanks for reading, please give me some comments...!
I think at the second line of first paragraph, you should add:
... It's high time for both of....
-Make the sentence strong and keep your point.
... for talent students which the wealthy ...
why you use which?
- Besides, they also bring
-By the internet, local media, ... that they will learn or ...
by the Internet ..., ...can learn ...
I think you have trouble with your grammar, structure. YOUR IDEA IS CLEAR.
That's all my help.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,926 3851
Diep, kindly remember that there is a difference between UK and US English when it comes to spelling certain words. If you want to score higher in the IELTS test, then you should strive to familiarize yourself with the method by which the UK writers spell their words. If you can spell in the UK rather than US version, then you will gain a higher LR scoring consideration than if you spelled in the US English manner (favor = favour).
It is important that you do not use contractions when writing in an academic tone. That means It's should be properly spelled out as IT IS. This helps to improve your GRA score because you show that you know how to properly form academic sentences, which is what the test is trying to gauge. Informal sentence presentations do not really blend well with the scoring requirement of a formal English language test.
Now, the essay uses the term "OR" when asking you to choose between the government of the poor or the government of the rich countries. Due to the existence of the word "OR" within the instruction sentence, you have to choose only one side to discuss. You can't use both because that will require you to discuss the essay topic using more than the 3 reasoning paragraph allotment. It is more difficult to defend such an opinion within 40 minutes using only 3 reasoning paragraphs.