Hi, everyone! Please have a look at my essay.
parents share responsibility for the behaviour of the children
The question of whether parents are ultimately responsible for the behaviour of the children is a controversial one. On one hand, some claim that parents are socially and morally obliged to raise their children well and instil in them the fundamental concepts of kindness, generosity and tolerance. They, thus, point out that if a child somehow misbehaves it is the fault of the parents, and therefore they are responsible. On the other hand, others question such beliefs and argue, justifiably, that parents are not always or automatically responsible for the misconduct of children. Personally, I consider the arguments on both sides to be valid and legitimate, yet, I more inclined to the second point of view by the following reasons.
According to some research, during the first three years of life, a person obtains as much information as for the rest of his or her life. The mind of the child is incredibly flexible and acquires knowledge like a sponge. In this age, however, a child has not yet developed critical skills and therefore percepts everything that parents tell him or her as undeniable and absolute truth. Therefore, the moral concepts that the parents teach their child plays a crucial role in his or her destiny and, in a certain sense, will govern the child's behaviour throughout his or her life. Proceeding from this fact, the notion of the ultimate parental responsibility sounds reasonable and convincing.
However, this topic could also be looked at from a different perspective. First, the conception of the total parental responsibility can be employed to justify any possible misdeed or crime since the offender can always blame his or her parents for not giving him or her the proper moral foundation in the childhood. Moreover, the parents, in turn, can accuse their own parents by applying the same logic; following this chain of reasoning, it is impossible to break the circles of the Wikion. Therefore, the concept of the parental responsibility in its ultimate form negates any form of personal responsibility for our own actions. Moreover, parents are not the only ones who heavily influence the child's development. During the adolescence a teenager spends more time at school than at home, hence, imposition full responsibility on parents would oversimplify the picture.
To conclude, I believe that parents share responsibility for the behaviour of the children to some extent. However, this responsibility is not ultimate, but limited and, in particular, it can not be exploited as an excuse for person's misdeeds and wrong-doings.Hi Oz, I hope you could provide the original prompt so we can have a look at it. And if you are taking Ielts or toefl, you would have limited time for writing so 421 words are way over the top. Last but not least, I can see the opening paragraph indicating you are providing your opinion, so it is impossible for you to state your opinion in the conclusion. Overall though, you are way better than the first essay that you posted in the forum.
Hope that helps.
