The responsibility of sharing wealth in rich countries

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

The gap between wealth and porvety amongs countries in the world has always been an issue that needed to be tackled. There is a notion that it is the goverments of the contries themselves who must responsible for their own citizens. I believe, however, that there should be supports in food and education given from wealthy nations to help the poors alleviate their people's living standard.

The first reason justifing for my standpoint is the huge benefit offerd to recipient countries. In poor countries, with educational and food aid provided by foreign countries, the goverments will be able to focus more on developing their economy. Other fields such as medical care, infraststructure, traffic systems will have chance getting subsidy from national funds. This would result in better lives among the citizens of the countries.

Making the world a more pleasant place to live leads to my second point of why wealthy nations should share the wealth. Regardless which country we are living in this world, each person is a part of the common human community. Helping the others also means to help yourself. There will be decrease in crime rate, terrorism and conflict once people lives are enhanced. The bond amongst countries will be strenthened, people are more unified and the human community becomes healthy. The consequences would benefit not only the poor countries but also the wealthy nations that give supports.

In conclusion, charity and aid for poorer countries should be one of the properous nations' responsiblities. The support will result in not only domestical but also international improvement in living condition.

The first reason justifying for my standpoint is the huge benefit offerd to recipient countries.

CORRECTED: The first reason justifying my standpoint is the huge benefit offered to recipient countries.

Your spelling in this essay needs to be gone through more thoroughly. Next, you need to eliminate unnecessary words.

The bond amongst countries will be strengthened, people are more unified and the human community becomes healthy.

CORRECTED: The bond amongst countries will be stronger, and people will be more unified and healthy.

Again you need to you condense your thoughts to give a better, more focused impression.

The essay makes the point, but is too round about in getting there. You need to find the major points, and concentrate on them. If you add some commas, I think you will help the reader to breathe.

Good job, for a first write!

ef _ carol