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IELTS: Who should be responsible for cars pollution - people or governments? Give your opinion.


otgon 2 / 2  
Jun 11, 2019   #1
People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think the government should be held accountable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, pollution to the environment is increasing at alarming rate throughout the world and there is number of serious factors affecting to this cause. One of the main factors to contribute the air pollution is the transportation. Some people argue that individuals should have responsibility for pollutions caused by their cars, while others hold a different opinion saying the government should handle this issue. However, ignoring the individual's responsibility for air pollution is not correct, I think government should introduce regulations to reduce the pollution from vehicles.

As some people say, the pollution from cars could be reduced by giving responsibility to the owner. In order to reduce the air pollution, people should not use the cars which omit much pollution to the air comparing to other environment friendly transportation types. If people feel their responsibility to keep the environment clean and safe, they would not prefer to use the cars. Unfortunately, most people do not care about the impacts from cars to the environment, therefore, some people consider that governments should take this into a considerable account.

To reduce the air pollution from vehicles, governments should introduce some major steps to reduce cars which omit high pollution to the air. One of the steps to reduce air pollution from cars is to decrease the numbers of cars people use. In order to achieve to this goal, government should encourage people to use an environment friendly transportation types. Also, governments should require car owners to pay tax for their responsibility to the air pollution. In some countries, for example in my country, this regulation is started being used in practice.

In conclusion, air pollution becomes a danger for everyone. Therefore, to reduce the air pollution related to human activity, such as pollution from transportation, governments should take some important steps such as collecting tax from cars and promoting people to use environment friendly transportation.

Maria [Contributor] - / 366 173  
Jun 12, 2019   #2
@otgon
Hi there!

I would firstly suggest that you try to integrate writing techniques that will make your sentences simpler and yet more structured. Having an appropriate structure is critical to make sure that you have an integral technique that will allow you to expound your thoughts in a smoother manner. That being said, focus on having a formal approach to your essay. Accomplishing this is essential for you to curate content.

If you feel as though a particular phrase or line can be trimmed down, opt to do so. Doing this will force you to optimize the space you have in your essay.

Let's take a look at your first paragraph in line with this.

Nowadays, pollution to the environmental pollution is increasing at an alarming ... world; and there is are number of numerous serious factors affecting to this cause. ... factors to contributeing to the air pollution ... ... for the pollutions caused by ... others hold a different opinion saying the think the government should ...

Notice how there were better ways to phrase things (ie. environmental pollution instead of pollution to the environment) that ultimately save you space in your essay. Doing this will help you add more depth as well as you are able to explain more.

This is also a prevalent observation in the latter parts of your essay. Consider this portion:

In order tTo achieve to this goal, ... to use an environment friendly transportation types.

Notice how there was no need for you to mention that they're "environmentally friendly types" because environmentally friend is already a descriptive phrase - and it was already quite obvious and given that it was the direction of the meaning that you were trying to portray.

Best of luck in your writing as always.
thaonguyen1st 1 / 5 3  
Jun 13, 2019   #3
Nowadays, the pollution ... at an alarming rate ... and there is A number of serious factors affecting to this cause. ... factors to contributeing to the air ... ... responsibility for the pollutions caused by ... saying that the ... ... responsibility for the air ... introduce the regulations ...

... could be reduced decreased by ... In order to reduce the air ... other environmentally friendly ... ... to use their cars. ... do not care (quite informal) concern about ... cars to on the environment, ... should take this it into a considerable account.

You used the verb "reduce" too much time. I think you should change by its synonyms

To reduce the air ... should introduce take some major steps to reduce cars which ... One of the steps to reduce the air pollution ... numbers of cars people use. In order to achieve to this goal, the government ... an environmentally friendly ... ... to pay taxes for their responsibility to for the air pollution. In some countries, for an example in is my country, ... used in practice practical.

In conclusion, the air pollution ... Therefore, to reduce the air ... activities, such as the pollution ... steps such as collecting taxes from cars ... use environmentally friendly transportation.

I do not know my review is true or not. But I tried my best to expose my recommendation helpfully. Hope you can improve effectively your writing skills


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