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IELTS; Who's responsible for one's health? The individual or society?


rairaichan0323 1 / 1  
Mar 10, 2014   #1
Some people think taking care of one's health is not only for individual benefits. It should also be a responsibility for society. To what extent do you agree?

In the present age, keeping individuals' health are playing increasingly important role in our lives. But at the same time, controversy has arisen whether society should take the responsibility for keeping citizens' health. Someone would argue that maintaining their own health is not only their own responsibility but also society has responsibility to do it. Personally, I think this view overlooks the important factors of this issue.

Convincing arguments can be made that society bearing all responsibilities of their health may carry out some potential risks. First of all, it seems that society may have financial crises. There is ample evidence suggesting that individuals may be overly dependent on the society, which may lead to large amount of expenditures. Moreover, keeping healthy body is their own responsibility. Obviously, people have right to determine that what goes into their own body and their lifestyles. Society is not about to deter their own decisions.

On the other hand, it is worth pointing out there are arguments supporting the opinion that society necessarily takes responsibility for individuals' health. The major idea is assisting impoverished families. It is evident that in terms of health problem needy families are not able to pay for better quality of foods. Therefore, they require society to supporting them, thereby keeping a healthy physique. Despite this, an apparent problem with this opinion is that it may levy higher taxes. Consequently, we should not overlook the fact that in order to cover this huge amount of expenditure, government need to impose high taxes to meet citizens' needs.

By way of conclusion, regarding this issue, my own view is that although it may have a responsibility to help needy to maintain a good health, I firmly believe that keeping healthy physique is the best interests of them. Also, I would argue that it seems highly advisable for individuals to choose healthier lifestyles rather than sedentary lifestyles.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 10, 2014   #2
In the present age, keeping individuals' healthareis playing increasingly important role in our lives.

... wrong grammar :( ... Not a strong hook. You need to improve its presentation a lot :(
In the present age, maintaining health in good shape has become a very important matter.

But at the same time, controversy has arisen whether society should take the responsibility for keeping citizens' health.

I think you better follow the order of the prompt itself. i.e. to talk about individual responsibility first and the societal involvement second :)


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