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TOEFL ESSAY - About restriction for marketing strategies directed at kids (eg. TV's advertising)


kokot 1 / -  
Jan 14, 2020   #1

Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.



As we witness marketization and commodification of almost every part of our lives, thinking about whether should television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) be allowed or not could somehow seem anachronistic. Nevertheless, I still think regulations are necessary in that area. Several arguments can be employed to support aforementioned view on sensitive issues such as influence of marketing on children definitely is.

First of all, I think we could all agree upon the fact that such young children are not capable of judging between good and bad in general and, furthermore, what is and what is not good for them. Having that in mind, advertising of different products to young children raises a question of ethics. Promoting, for example, a product to someone not able to take responsibility for oneself, their actions and decisions should also represent concern for consumer protection policy makers.

Another reason why such marketing practice should not be allowed are numerous negative effects they may cause. Easily imagined problem is one that occurs in relation to food products advertising. Children could adopt bad or even dangerous eating habits as a result of no supervised advertisement of specific products as sweets. Another negative effect similar to latter is the development of consumeristic behavior since early age. Stimulating the urge to have certain items, toys etc. can have severe consequences on character development and can cause a variety of challenges for parents.

Even if we can easily address different negative effects of uncontrolled advertisement to young children, the issue how to and which content to restrict and supervise is not the easy one. Creation of legislation and regulations regarding advertisement to vulnerable social groups as process should involve all kinds of experts and specialists - from psychologists, nutritionists, pediatricians, pedagogues, children attorneys etc. and should be based on results of specifically directed researches.

To conclude, even though it seems almost impossible to restrict and control marketing strategies nowadays available, we should, as a society, still be doing as much as possible for the protection and well-being of those most vulnerable, and especially children.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jan 15, 2020   #2
It is not a question of whether more regulation is required when it comes to advertising to children, it is a question of whether you agree or disagree with the given statement. That is the Task assigned to this discussion and that is what you failed to respond to in your introduction statement. The task accuracy score will be heavily based on whether or not you properly responded to the question given at the start, with the body of discussions adding to the consideration of your score. Failing to say yes or no directly, in relation to the prompt topic will result in points deductions even if the rest of your essay does respond to the given topic. Your essay moved away from the simple yes or no discussion because towards the end, you began discussing the need for legislation, which was not part of the original discussion. You were only asked to provide reasons and examples for your dis/agreement with the statement. There was no call for you to discuss potential solutions. That results in further prompt deviations and a lowering of your final score.


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