Question: Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.
My essay
In our modern society, Sports are becoming more and more popular. As a result, the young tend to admire famous sports people. I strongly believe that professional athletes who have both successes in their career and excellent morals are good examples for young people.
Firstly, in my opinion, praiseworthy achievements of sports players are significant motivations for the youth to study and work harder. It takes normal players many years to become professional ones. They have to practice strenuously, even living far from their family to focus on training. Besides, successful players possibly overcome many failures by continual efforts. All those things could encourage the young to keep pursuing their passions because it is very easy for young people to follow their idols. For example, shooter Hoang Xuan Vinh is the first Vietnamese winning an Olympic gold medal. Therefore, his achievement motivates a lot of young Vietnamese to study as well as practice harder. Even many kids and teenagers pay more attention to play sports.
Equally important, the good behavior of famous athletes is deserving of young people's imitation. Actually, professional sports players usually have not only reputation but also a lot of money which could make them arrogant or wasteful. However, if they are able to stay always from bad habits to have a moral life, there is no reason why children should not imitate sports people. Apart from that, the habit of watching athletes in sports competitions can help the young learn useful lessons. They are the power of solidarity, fair play which are principles of many sports players.
In conclusion, it is clear that young people usually love to idealize professional sports people. Therefore, the authorities and parents had better encourage children to imitate good sports players.
Please correct me if I am wrong..Happy learning :)
... and more popular THAN EVER . As a result, the young PEOPLE tend to admire famous sports people athletes.
... professional athletes who have both SUCCEEDin their career and THEY DO HAVE excellent morals AND THEY ARE good examples ...
It takes normal players many years to ...
All those things could encourage TO the young to keep pursuing their passions(Can it be passions?) because it is ...
... Vinh is the first Vietnamese WHO WINS an Olympic gold medal.
HOWEVER, the good behavior of famous athletes ...
... could make them arrogant or EXTRAVAGANCE. THUS, if they are able to stay always ...
... sports competitions can help the youngSTERS TO learn useful lessons.
... love to idealize professional sportsMEN. Therefore, the authorities and parents had better SHOULD encourage children to imitate ATHLETES.
aero_stress: Firstly, I think that I used the word "The young" correctly because it means "young people".
2. "had better" was replace by "should" because "had better" should not be used in a formal essay. Am i right?
3. I really appreciate "EXTRAVAGANCE". I couldn't find this word so I had to write "wasteful"
4. winning is a short form of relative clause "who wins". If I'm wrong, please me to understand this
5. I thought the structure is "encourage smb to do smthing".
Thank for your feedback which is really helpful
