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How many retail stores were opened and shut down - cam 17 test 2

nguyentrang2809 1 / -  
Oct 31, 2022   #1

writing task 1 - cam 17 test 2

The provided line graph illustrates how many retail stores were opened and shut down annually from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is the downward trend in the figures for closed shops and new shops, with the most dramatic decline being seen in the number of openings.

The number of openings started at 8,500 in 2011 after which it witnessed a significant decrease to 4,000 in 2012, then rose to more than 6,000 shops in the next year. From 2015 to 2017, the figure remained unchanged, with about 4,000 shops per year. Ending the period, the number of new shops is one in three of those in the first year.

Similarly, the figure for closures was at 6,400 shops in 2011, lower than the openings, followed by a slight drop in year 1, then gradually grew from 6,000 in 2012 to more than 7,000 shops in the next year. However, this number then considerably fell and reached the lowest peak of 500 shops in 2015 and then remained stable in the last three years of the peroid.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Oct 31, 2022   #2
The summary section is not complete. The summary should be composed of at least 3 sentences. It is never acceptable to present only a single sentence in that section as it represents a run-on sentence and will decrease the GRA scores of the essay. The fact that the paragraphs range from 2-3 sentence per paragraph already indicate a severe sentence structuring problem for the writer. He is severely reliant on commas and run-on sentences for his presentation which will decrease his C+C and result in additional GRA deductions along the way. The main problem with the student is not his understanding of the image. It is the fact that he is incapable of properly writing in simple, complex, and compound sentences. These are the expected sentence mixes in this task and that is what should be reflected in the writing. Without it, the essay may not receive a passing score.

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