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IELTS Writing Task 1 - Revenues and Expenditures of a Children's Charity in the USA.


mahfuj840 2 / 1  
Apr 16, 2022   #1
Topic:

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.



Response:
The given two pie charts summarizes the revenues and expenditures by a charity for children situtated in the USA by the year 2016.

At the onset it is clear that total revenue was higher than expenditures by roughly 300,000 dollars. The greatest source of money was donated foods while program services took away most of the funds.

Talking about the revenue sources, well above three quarters, which is 86.6%, of the total income came from donated foods. From the remaining categories, community contributions was the second highest impactful source by bringing in 10.4% of the income. Program revenue and other income made up a very small amount, 2.2% and 0.4% respectively. Similarly, by contributing 0.2% each, investment income and government grants contributed the least in the income of the charity.

Coming to the expenditures, a large portion of the costings were occupied by program services, which is 95.8%. Among the remaining tiny source of expenses, fundraising took 2.6% while management and general cut 1.6% of the charity's total budget. The total revenue was $53,561,580 which was just enough to cover the expenditures of $53,224,896.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Apr 16, 2022   #2
The opening summary will immediately result in a lower GRA consideration due to the run-on nature of the presentation. It does not properly represent the academic format of a 3-5 sentence paragraph. This presentation should have been presented over a 3 sentence discussion owing to the individual nature of each information piece provided.

While the trending paragraph showed potential, the writer mistakenly included an actual measurement reference. This negated the content written and tuned it into a data paragraph instead. A trending indicator does not include any actual information yet, assumed or otherwise. save those information for the actual reporting sections.

The presented reporting paragraphs are well analyzed.These also meet the meremum sentence requirement for the paragraph analysis. One might say that the writer did his best work in these sections.


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