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Review My Essay task 2 : implementing strictly noise controls

MinhHuong96 1 / -  
Mar 9, 2019   #1

The problem of noise pollution

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some see no problem with noise and argue for the right to make noise however they like. Other, myself included, advocate for the implementation of stricter noise regulation.

To begin with, there are two main reasons why a number of people are against strict noise controls. First, youngsters enganging recreational activities tend to creating more noise by doing that they feel more comfortable and free. Many of them get relaxed by listening high -volume piped music when playing video game at entertainment centers. Second, certain groups of workers have considered to noise created by power-tools as an unavoidable part of the workday. In order to make their work done, carpenters and welders alike need the help of drills or hammers that generate noise in the process.

Noise opponents, however, believe that it is more beneficial to impose some laws to control the noise produced. The first reason is that too much noise is detrimental for the listener's overall wellbeing. Constant exposure noise, for instance, people not only suffer hearing loss but also face the developing risk of cardiovascular problems. Additional, noise emitted in the carpender's shop or weldering workshop which is norm for who works there but that is a nuisance to the others in the neighborhood. Without strict regulation, immoderate noise has a negative influence on the locals, leaving them chronically sleep- deprived and easily distracted.

Many people cite entertainment or work as reasons to make noise that is unreasonable if the noise exceeds recommended levels. Noise generation should be properly monitored for the common good of whole community.
Holt - / 7,651 1998  
Mar 10, 2019   #2
Minh, before I delve into the composition problems of your I would like to show you the simpler problems first that can easily be addressed by you simply being more careful when writing the essay.

Spelling problems:
enanging = engaging
centers = centres (UK spelling difference)
carpender's = carpenter's
weldering = welding
neighborhood = neighbourhood (UK spelling difference)

Grammar Issues:
Reflexive pronoun - myself = I
Verb form = creating = create
Comparative form - ... comfortable and free = ... comfortable and freer

The discussion presentation that you offer is not complete. There is a discussion of the two public points of view and a reference to a personal opinion in your prompt paraphrase, but no actual explanation of how you developed that opinion within the required 3 reasoning paragraphs. That is an important, missing discussion point that has resulted in a tangential response on your part, which will lead to a lowering of the essay score in the end because there is a lack of discussion points as per prompt requirements. Even though you wrote 256 words, it will not matter because the discussion points are incomplete.

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