Any suggestions for revisions that would improve this paper in terms of content and organization?
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An essay can be either as good or as bad as you choose to make it. However, assuming you want at least a moderately acceptable piece of work, there are a few ways in which you can make sure any essay you come out with will be, at the very least, understandable. The main keys to writing a successful essay are organization, focus, and revision. Hopefully, the result of following these three basic steps will be an essay that is enjoyable for your audience and yourself.
The first step, the organization of your topic, is important not only in supplying yourself with a clear outline of your essay and where you want to go with it, but also in your understanding of your topic. Only through sorting through your ideas can you pick out the ones that would be the most interesting and rewarding for your readers. Remember to choose the points that interest you most. You cannot hope to interest your reader unless you can relate a certain amount of interest for your topic.
The next step in the organization of your topic is to write a thesis statement, one that directs and controls the content and shape that your essay is going to take. A thesis statement should cover all of the main points you plan to go over in your essay. However, it shouldn't be too general or broad based. For example, "The French Revolution and its impact on France's politics, economy and society" is a thesis statement suitable for a 300-page book and not for a 300-word essay. A more suitable essay topic would be "King Louis XIV and his role in the French Revolution." Even this narrowed topic would have to be cut down in order to find a workable thesis.
The last step in the organization process is in the organization of your work space. Before you sit down to write out that first draft, make sure that your desk is uncluttered and that you have everything you may need before you. Also, make sure that the room in which you are working is as free from outside distractions as you can make it. Such distractions would include the sound of the television blaring in the next room, or your younger sister practicing her violin up the hall. Shut the door on such annoyances and make sure you leave a clear Do Not Disturb sign on the door. It's time to focus on the work at hand.
A clear focus is important, not only in your writing, but also in what you are writing. Stay within the bounds of your thesis but, remember, what you write in your first draft is not being chipped in stone. You can always go back later and revise it. For now, just try to enjoy the experience of writing. Don't be afraid to explore within the boundaries you have set for yourself. If you do happen to wander a little, don't panic, you might just discover some new ground you could cover. Remember, it's still early in the game. If necessary, either the essay or your thesis statement can be reworked. Some focus is necessary, however. For example, your readers will not want to read an essay on the party you went to last weekend if your thesis promised them information on the impact of the monarchy in the French Revolution.
The last stage of the writing process is the revising and editing. Prepare to take your rough draft and go over it in detail. This is perhaps the most important and time-consuming stage in your work. It is the moment when you have to decide what areas of your essay need revision and what should be cut out altogether. The most important thing you should do at this stage is to read and reread your essay, and not just to yourself. Read it out loud to an imaginary audience. This will help you get a feel for how your essay sounds and allow you to pick out any inconsistencies that may exist.
It is important that your essay has a natural flow and progression of thought. You want to try and avoid jumping suddenly from one point to another. There should be a smooth transition between each point. If a transition feels too forced or obvious, it may indicate that your essay needs to be reworked or reworded. Also, be on the look out for areas that over inform your readers. You don't want to bore your audience by repeating your points. Chances are that your audience picked up on them the first time. However, you don't want to oversimplify your points either, leaving the reader wishing you had explained something more clearly. The best way to spot these errors is to ask a friend to read your essay for you. If he or she can understand the point that you are trying to make, then it is safe to assume that you intended audience will be able to do the same.
A far more basic item to be on the lookout for while proofreading are the simple mechanical errors that we all make. It may be a good idea to have a friend check for these as well since they can be particularly difficult to detect in your own work. Remember, you can proofread your essay as many times as you feel it is necessary, but try not to overwork the piece. There is a time to stop.
Good morning.
Since the prompt for this assignment was not posted, I can edit for grammar and mechanics only. Within those boundaries, the essay is clean and I have no suggestions. Good work.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
