"Riding a motorcycle in Vietnam" - Risk you have taken, why and was it worth it?

Hi people!
Please help me with my practice CBEST writing, I have been failed the test for over 30 times. I started to take the test since 2003. Please save my life. Thank you so much

Topic: Everyone has taken a risk at some time in his or her life. Write about a risk you have taken. Discuss why you took this risk and whether it was worth taking.

My response
Some people are eager taking risks on their life, feeling great for overcoming with the obstacles. Others deny taking risk for their own safes. As for me, riding a motorcycle in Vietnam without a permit was my tremendous risk.

I remember last summer I took a vacation trip to Vietnam for visiting my grandmother's hometown. Motorcycles and bicycles were the mainly transportation in Vietnam. Unfortunately, international driving permits and the U.S drivers' licenses were not valid in Vietnam; nevertheless, the processing for applying a driving permit was complicated, so I decided to rent a motorcycle for my transportation without the permit during my staying.

Riding a motorcycle in Vietnam was extremely dangerous. The traffic was chaotic. There were poor road conditions with uneven pavement. I was almost making an accident when I bumped into a big hole on the road. I didn't even see any speed limit or yield signs on the way. In addition, motorbike riders and pedestrians didn't obey traffic's rules. The traffic moved on the right, but drivers frequently crossed to the left to pass other vehicles and pedestrians who crossed the road illegally. Paying attention and concentrating were very much to do for my riding. It was highly anxious when I had to prepare to break frequently because other drivers sudden stop anytime.

Consequently, everything that I had done was a risk and it wasn't worth taking. Yet, the possible outcome could be harmful to my safety. I might end up my life in a motorcycle accident or I might kill a pedestrian with my inexperience driving.

Wow, I am inspired by your perseverance. I hope you keep practicing here at EF until you get it right.

Okay, do you have questions about Kim's corrections? I want to help you get the good habits and drop the bad ones. Let's look again at the first sentence:

Some people are eager to take risks with their lives, feeling great about overcoming their obstacles.

And this sentence, too:
Others avoid taking risk for their own safety.

As for me, riding a motorcycle in Vietnam without a permit was my tremendous risk.--- I bet it was!! Add a sentence to the end of this paragraph to tell if it was because you are a person who likes to take risks. Perhaps you used to like taking risks until you learned a valuable lesson.

Okay, look at each sentence, one at a time! Speak each sentence the correct way 10 times, slowly!

Type each sentence correctly 10 times!! I will look to see if you still have mistakes. Speak and type every corrected sentence 10 times, and you will soon pass the test!!!

Thank you so much for your advice Kevin; somehow it is difficult to unlearn something that I had already learned. I learned how to write a sentence in my native language which is totally opposite from English. Unfortunately, when I write in English, it is a mental translation in my brain before it is written on Paper. Wow, I know my difficultiy in writing is the usesage, but I keep practicing

hahaha you have nothing to worry about! The process of translation is common to all bilingual people, but you seem to have some real mastery. It is better to be bilingual and have to take time to mentally translate than it is to be monolingual. Keep practicing, and enjoy it! :-)