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RIGHT ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING


write2pick 1 / 2 1  
Sep 19, 2015   #1
The creation of a man and woman by God is one of the miraculous things about this life. Nobody really understands the mystery behind it except the almighty God. As he created us, he also created animals in two phases either male or female. However, we could come to a conclusion by saying "Life is a phase either positive or negative, either male or female and every phase of life has its own challenges".

Everything that happens to a man must definitely be in one of the two either positive or negative ways. Positively, in the sense that, things might be in your favour and negatively in order way round. Nevertheless, we can't some things in life either we like or not. It is a clinch! It is bound to happen. And so many people failed to realize that, the happiness of a man lies in his hands. The ability to make yourself happy towards every stage of life is the hallmark of right attitude. Our attitude towards every situation in life matters a lot.

Have you been facing one or two challenges in life and you felt that life is so cruel that you can't move on again?

Have you been frustrated in your place of work and you felt like quitting the job?
Have you been rejected by your friends, family relative and you felt nobody really like you?
Have you been frustrated by your school lecturer and you felt like quitting the school?
Have you been overwhelmed by failure and you felt like committing suicide?
I tell you this morning. You're not alone! Life can be so cruel at times, but then, the only solution is by developing a right attitude towards your present situation. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman, but one thing is certain: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. Attitude is everything. The way you live your life, the way you make yourself happy and the way you interact with people, relative, friends, partners and in your place of work. That's attitude for you. Everybody wants to happy. Good! But what if things don't turn out the way you expected. Are you going to surrender? So, it takes right mind to develop right attitude. Try to develop a positive outlook toward your present situation and you will surely be set free.

Please i will appreciate your correction.Thanks!

vangiespen - / 4,140 1449  
Sep 19, 2015   #2
Hi Ajayi, I spotted some grammatical and punctuation issues with your writing. I'll be quoting and correcting the issues below and include comments when necessary.

The creation of a man and woman by God is one of the miraculous thingsabout this life

- ... most miraculous thingsin this life.
- The miracle is something that is part of our lives and is therefore "in" and not "about" this life.

As he created us, he also created animals in two phases either male or female.

- ... he also created animals in 2 phases: either...

However, we could come to a conclusionby saying "Life is a phase either positive or negative, either male or female and every phase of life has its own challenges".

- ... conclusionthat "LIfe is a phase..."

Everything that happens to a man must definitely be in one of the two either positive or negative ways

- The removal of certain descriptive words make the sentence tighter and more meaningful.

Positively , in the sense that, things might be in your favour and negatively in order way round .

- Positive in the sense that... and negative in another way.

Nevertheless, we can't some things in life either we like or not.

- You have a missing descriptive word here. The sentence doesn't make any sense in British or American English.

It is a clinch !

- It's a cinch.
- I suggest that you stop using English idioms if you are not really sure about how it is written. Using the idiom improperly or stating it wrongly does not increase the confidence of the native English speaking reader in your abilities.

And so many people failed to realize that,the happiness of a man lies in his hands.

- Proper English grammar dictates that no sentence can start with "And". It makes the sentence seem incomplete and sounds like it starts in the middle of a thought process instead of at the beginning. "Failed" was changed to "fail" because it is a continuing action in the present. Therefore present-tense should be used.

the hallmark of right attitude

- hallmark ofa right attitude

family relative

- family relatives - family indicates a plural form.

you felt nobody really like you?

- ... nobody really likes you. - Again this needs to be in present tense.

you felt like quitting the school?

you feltlike committing suicide?

- Again, watch out for those tricky tense usage problems.

I tell you this morning. You're not alone!

- This morning I am telling you that "You are not alone!"

people, relative, friends, partners and in your place of work.

- ... relatives (everything in the sentence is in plural form)...

That's attitude for you

- That's the right attitude...
- You need a connector word here.

Everybody wants to happy.

- wants to be happy.
- action connector word needed

But what if things don't turn out the way you expected.

- What if things don't... expected?
- This is supposed to be a formal question. So you need to end it with a question mark. Dropping the but and using What instead also makes the sentence direct to the point.

it takes right mind to develop right attitude.

- ... it takes the right mindset to develop the right attitude.
- You should say mindset because you are trying to represent a frame of mind or way of thinking. You also need the connector word "the" in order to better describe what you mean for a person to develop.

Corrections aside, you wrote a pretty much acceptable, informative, and well developed paper. Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done :-)
OP write2pick 1 / 2 1  
Sep 22, 2015   #3
@vangiespen I really appreciate your comment and the grammatical corrections you were able to identity.Thanks a lot sir.
Takeiteasy 5 / 12 6  
Sep 22, 2015   #4
Hi, @write2pick. I will point out the probems concerning the development of your argument. I am not a good writer in the first place, but here are my thoughts.

In the second paragraph, you claim that everything must happen in either positive or negative ways, but I couldn't find your support for the claim. You did explain it, but an explanation is not support.

I also found that most paragraphs need a topic sentence followed by arguments. Otherwise, It is hard for people to grasp your main ideas.

Nonetheless, it seems you have really done your thinking on this topic. I learned a little from your writing.

Good luck!
OP write2pick 1 / 2 1  
Sep 22, 2015   #5
@takeiteasy
I so much appreciate your contribution towards the success of my write-up.Thanks


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