It is right that university graduates should earn more money than less well educated people

It is right that university graduates should earn more money than less well educated people, but they should pay the full cost of their education.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When university graduates enter the job market, they expect to be paid more money on average than less educated people. While I believe that graduates deserve good salaries, I disagree with the idea that they should pay the full tuition for their degree courses.

In my opinion, the level of education is the most important contributing factor to the amount of money people earn at work. Educated people have invested time and effort into gaining their qualifications, and are therefore more prepared for work that relies chiefly on knowledge. More importantly, university students develop qualities that will go beyond their specialized knowledge. For example, better educated people are mentally and physically healthier, and they tend to be more productive with better interpersonal skills than those without formal education, making them great assets to the society as whole. I believe that these qualifications will certainly benefit the prospective employers both inside and outside work context.

I would also argue that students should not pay all the cost of university education. Education will be expensive and many young people, especially those from poorer backgrounds, might find it more difficult to go to university if they have to pay. I doubt that student loans could help to overcome this problem, because many students might not like the idea of graduating and having to worry about repaying large loans. Graduates clearly directly receive many benefits form having a university education, higher income being one of them. This means that they will almost certainly pay more income taxes than non-graduates, contributing more to the education of the next generation.

In conclusion, I believe that government should lower the cost of education for all people, and that graduates deserve higher rates of remuneration.
(287 words)

contributing factor --> contributive factor, and are therefore -->therefore, more prepared-->more preparation (line 4)
line 8: poorer--> the poor .
Under my impression, your essay is superb, good content with clear explanation and practical instances for the readers. Many phrases are used and it is your strong point. I hope I can learn more from you. But you need to check some spelling and grammar.

Best wishes for you!!!

Being a degree discussion essay, your paraphrase will be seen as lacking in addressing the task requirement. You cannot simply disagree with the presentation. You must present a measurement of that disagreement. The measure could be strongly, partially, totally, wholly, agree in part, etc. Remember, you cannot present a balanced discussion because the essay is asking you to discuss a strong opinion based on the degree and/or strengths of the perceived merits of your opinion.In this case, you could have said "I totally disagree..."

Now, while your essay is on point with the second paragraph, the third paragraph created a prompt deviation because you said : I would also argue that students should not pay all the cost of university education.

The prompt never asked for your opinion regarding the cost of university education. Therefore, your paragraph has a misdirected discussion topic. This will cost you in terms of TA considerations, definitely lowering your TA score in the process. Stick to the given topic. Do not make additional discussions unrelated to the question posed. While you may have thought you were helping your essay by expanding on the discussion topic, you actually hurt your chances of getting a better score by discussing an unrelated subject.