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'rising cities and living in them' - essay


matilda 1 / 1  
Aug 9, 2012   #1
Why do people prefer to live in cities? How should cities be designed?
Every week a million of people move to live in a city and today about 80 per cent of Earth's population have lived there. Furthermore city's population keeps increasing. The reason is that a city gives lots of career opportunities, high incomes and different types of entertainment.

A city has a place for everything. There are a huge number of small but successful firms and many famous and reliable corporations are situated there, to say nothing about diversity of plant facilities. Thus everyone is able to find a job which corresponds to his or her requirements and gives a stable earning.

It is obvious that good places for work are needed well-qualified specialists. A great deal of universities, institutes and colleges are located in towns and cities. For instance, many students come to my native city because there are many opportunities to study and diplomas received there are recognized all over the world.

After a hard working day citizens can afford visiting theaters, museums, amusement parks or cafes and restaurants. Cities offer entertainments which are fit for everyone.

However all this infrastructure like companies, universities, amusement parks not mention social services, are required regular and reasonable care. Nevertheless since I was a child my native city has grown considerably but there has done almost nothing of necessary reconstruction. Although I have some ideas especially for my own town I think the same ways may improve any city. If cities are divided into special area such as town settlements, industrial zones, places for supermarkets and stores, business areas and culture centers it will decrease traffic congestion. Also, if each area are separated from others by means of large park it will make cities cleaner and reduce air pollution.

I think that we can do nothing with rising cities but I believe if a city has a suitable design it will provide more comfortable life for townsmen.
Msx punk 2 / 15  
Aug 9, 2012   #2
Further more cities not city's.. Overall it was great! I'm just 13 so I couldn't figure out anymore mistake
OP matilda 1 / 1  
Aug 9, 2012   #3
Thank you a lot!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 9, 2012   #4
Hi Darya,

You have no problem with your writing skills; your sentences are well constructed with quality vocabulary. But you need to pay attention to the essay structure that earns you marks. I recommend the following structure for IELTS and TOEFL candidates;


First Para (Introductory Para) - Introduce your topic to the reader briefly. If it is an argument type of an essay, state on which side of the argument you are; that is whether you agree/ disagree/ or both agree and disagree in a certain way. If it is not and something like this one, then briefly mention the reasons that you are going to talk about in the body of the essay.

Second Para - This is your first body para in which you need to tell the reader one reason why you hold your view on the argument. Then support the reason with an example. In this case(which is not argumentative type) , you can say that people choose to live in large cities because they provide more job opportunities and then elaborate the ideas how the city should be designed to accommodate and facilitate such large work force. Give an example to support this idea. For example, talk about the difficulties that people would undergo if the city (better you specifically name this city) provide enough sanitary facilities, or road infrastructure.

Third Para - tell the reader another reason why you hold your view on the argument. In this case(which is not argumentative type) , you can say that a city should be divided into several sections to have a better organization of its facilities... support this with another example

Fourth Para - Write your conclusion. Say every thing you said above very briefly.

Hope this structure would help you. GOOD LUCK!
naijaprincess - / 5  
Aug 9, 2012   #5
Why do people prefer to live in cities? How should cities be designed?

Every week a millions of people move to live in a city and today about 80 per cent of Earth's population have lived there. Furthermore, a city's population keeps increasing. The reason is that a city gives lots of career opportunities, high incomes and different types of entertainment.

A city has a place for everything. There are a huge number of small but successful firms and many famous and reliable corporations are situated there, to say nothing about diversity of plant facilities. Thus, everyone is able to find a job which corresponds to his or her requirements and gives a stable earning.

It is obvious that good places for work are needed well-qualified specialists. A great deal of universities, institutes and colleges are located in towns and cities. For instance, many students come to my native city because there are many opportunities to study and diplomas received there are recognized all over the world.

After a hard working day citizens can afford visiting theaters, museums, amusement parks or cafes and restaurants. Cities offer entertainments which are fit for everyone.

However all this infrastructure like companies, universities, amusement parks not mention social services, are required regular and reasonable care. Nevertheless, since I was a child my native city has grown considerably, but there has done almost nothing of necessary reconstruction. Although I have some ideas especially for my own town I think the same ways may improve any city. If cities are divided into special area such as town settlements, industrial zones, places for supermarkets and stores, business areas and culture centers it will decrease traffic congestion. Also, if each area are separated from others by means of large park it will make cities cleaner and reduce air pollution.

I think that we can do nothing with rising cities but I believe if a city has a suitable design it will provide more comfortable life for townsmen

I think it was great! I made a few small changes, but like dumi stated, your conclusion should briefly summarize your points in the essay.


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