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Rising the fee of petrol as the best approach to solve traffic and pollution problem?


quynhuyen1012 1 / 1  
May 6, 2019   #1

High prices of fuel as a remedium



Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?

Nowadays, the environmental pollution is an alarming issue all over the world. In order to resolve this problem, some people claim that rising the fee of petrol is the best approach, which not only improve the growth of traffic but also solve polluted situations. However, from my view, i do not agree with this way because of various reasons, and i will give some other resolutions below.

For the solving develop traffic, standing the price of fuel is not the best way, at least to me. Firstly, it is obvious to realize that the result of this approach could be followed by increasing charges of another products. Indeed, this would cause prices of some goods exceed their real values. Secondly, rising the cost of petrol would result in increase other fees like transports, export and import. Therefore, services such as restaurants, coffee shops and other public stores would adjust the cost, and consumers may give more disadvantages.

On the other hand, pollution problems include various combining factors like emission gas from industrial areas and vehicles, or the invasion of plastic trash, disposable foam containers and nylon materials. Hence, why do we suggest another ways instead of increasing the price of petrol? For example, regulating work schedules to reduce traffic jams during the rush hours, or encouraging people use public transports like buses or subways. In addition, enhancing the awareness of people about protecting our environment is also a suitable solution.

Judging from all reasons, it is not difficult to draw a conclusion. It seems to me that i do not support the view of rising the charge of fuel to improve growing traffic and polluted issues.

mdabir1203 1 / 2  
May 6, 2019   #2
You could change this lines to make it more specific. There's cohesion missing and it disrupts your flow of writing :
Hence, why do we suggest another... For example, regulating work...
Maria [Contributor] - / 262 131  
May 6, 2019   #3
@quynhuyen1012
A few notes:
1. Evade using excessive words that do not contribute substantially to your essay.
2. When in doubt regarding the sentence's structure, try to use simpler structures.
3. Watch out for punctuation.
4. Watch out for preposition.
5. Use academic tones when you are writing as this is required.
6. Use appropriate terms.

You also had grammatical mistakes sporadically throughout your essay.

For instance:

Environmental pollution has emerged to be an alarming issue in the world. To solve this problem, others believe that a raise in the fee of petrol is the best approach; according to lobbyists, this will not only improve traffic conditions but also alleviate pollution concerns. However, from my perspective, I do not agree with this.*

*There is no need for you to introduce this early on that you are bound to give resolutions; it's already a given.

While I think that the substance and deductive approach is decent, I also think that you can refocus on putting more attention to your concluding remarks. You have to be more firm in your reasoning. Perhaps you can add a brief statement here?

Best of luck!
OP quynhuyen1012 1 / 1  
May 7, 2019   #4
@mdabir1203
Do you mind if you give an example? Thank you so much ^^


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