Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Why Rochester Minnesota is the greatest place to go to? Top 100 Best Places to Live.


Yui1010 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2016   #1
I am working on a important 5-paragraph essay < why Rochester Minnesota is the greatest place to go to >, I searched online and write this ,If you can Revise the composition make it more like a essay ,I will be very grateful to you ! Please help me!! Thank you very much!!

According to news coverage< Top 100 Best Places to Live> from the Livability
Rochester, Minnesota get the title, by the LivScore for each city is a composite of more than 40 data points. Those data points were grouped into the eight categories include Amenities, Demographics, Economy, Education, Health Care, Housing, Social and Civic Capital, Transportation and Infrastructure, Rochester excelled in this criteria. Prove it is a place where people are able to take full advantage of a wide variety of amenities and offerings - everything from parks and museums to different commuting options to hospitals. ,Therefore, Rochester is the best places to go to which shows Strong competitiveness

One very strong reason for Rochester is a greatest place to go is because Mayo Clinic --The best hospital. Mayo Clinic is a nonprofit medical practice and medical research group settled in 1864 ,Under the primary value"The needs of the patient come first" , Mayo Clinic do its best taking care of every patient and wined great honor around world,U.S. News & World Report ranked Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. the best hospital in the nation in their 2016-2017 rankings and maintaining a position near the top for more than 25 years.Also Mayo Clinic has ranked at or near the top of "Honor Roll" hospitals through the history of U.S. News and World Report's best-hospital rankings.

Also ,it is arbitrary to judge according only to the excuse I mentioned in the above paragraph. A more essential factor why i advocate the argument is that Rochester is a clean and generally safe place that's great for people. Rochester is a city with a population of about 1,000,000, so generally it's a quiet city .Many outsiders are sometimes perplexed that folks are outwardly friendly ,even more kind when you try to get to know them.Truthfully, it's not the most exciting place to go. However, it does have some big city features without a lot of the hassles ,you can get anywhere in town in about 10 minutes. There are plenty of parks and bike trails if that's your thing. If you are the people in search of an identity ,definitely Rochester will be a great choice

The third and very important reason is that Rochester has great potential. "It's a happening place," as Mayor Brede says.Rochester is looking at how it can expand that in other areas of this city."for example ,The University of Minnesota is planning to expand its satellite campus, bringing more younger people into town. They too will need a place to live. More student housing is planned, and as with many other cities, Rochester is experimenting with adding residential density in the downtown. A multi-use development called Metropolitan Marketplace sold out before it was completed and has a lengthy waiting list.

In conclusion, Rochester, Minnesota is the greatest place to go . It has the best clinic in the US--Mayo clinic which you will get best health care, safe and quiet enough for people ,and also it is a happing place has an infinite possibility with the future. So Get ready to plot your next move, and make Rochester your best place.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hi Yui, Welcome to EF :)

- This is a proof thatProve it is a place where...
- Therefore , Rochester is the best placesplace to go to which shows Strongdue to its strong competitiveness. (punctuation and grammatical problems)

- OneveryA strong reason forwhy Rochester is athe greatest place to go is because of Mayo Clinic --The best hospital.
- ...research group settled in 1864. (period) Under the primary value"The needs of the patient come first", (no space needed before comma) Mayo Clinic do its best in taking care of every patient and winedgetting a great honor around the world. (period) U.S. News & World Report ranked Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn as the best hospital in the nation in theirin 2016-2017 periodrankings and maintainingmaintained a position near the... (can you differentiate between "comma" and "period"? the way you put them seems quite messy and jumbled)

According to the above-mentioned feedback, I can see that the whole essay also experience the same problem. It is mostly about punctuation and grammatical problems. If you can mind the feedback above, I am sure that you will able to create a better essay later on. Try to upload the revision below my comment to achieve a further assistance :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Why Rochester Minnesota is the greatest place to go to? Top 100 Best Places to Live.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳