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The role of fathers in children's upbringing.

orkhan 12 / 19  
Feb 7, 2013   #1
Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are
solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they
are also responsible for bringing the children up.(IELTS TASK)

In olden times there was a standart family structure .In this structure father ought to work and earn for meeting requirements of his family.On the contrary,mother ought to be engaged with upbringing of the children at home.

In todays world the life conditions already has changed either from an economic or social viewpoint.In addition demands have changed and expanded.This in turn has effected to structure of families which have been created over years.However we have to admit that this structure of family have been maintained in many countries and families yet. Almost in modern families both of parents are working and both of them are responsible for child -rearing.Women have worked and participated in social life actively with improvement of position of women in society.In this case responsibilities regarding children must be divide among them.

In my opinion, the role of father in upbringing children is very important and ought to be emphasized as much as mother's.Undoubtedly,children need the kindness and bring up of each parents.Therefore,if children feel the lack of any parent,it can show it's negative effects to their identity formation process.However,many families hire a nanny or lead their child to kindergarten as a way out of the situation.

In conclusion,I'd like to emphasize the presence of fathers must significantly rise in child-rearing process.Neither kindergartens nor nannies can't substitute value,which parents give to their children.Therefore, both of parents must take directly responsibility in upbringing process of children.As,it shows it's impacts to their future life.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 7, 2013   #2
Your introduction covers just half of the topic. You should introduce your topic to the reader in full. You have not discussed that fatherhood should be emphasized as much as the motherhood. So, you need to talk about the modern scenario too. And you should tell us what you believe.

In todays world the life conditions alreadyhashave changed eitherboth from an economic orand social viewpoints .

.... condition has/ conditions have

This in turn has effectedaffectedtothe structure of families which havehas been created over years.

... "has" refers to the "structure"
However, I do not get a clear idea from this sentence. I think you better re-phrase this line to give a better meaning.
You begin this para with a very good sentence telling the reader that modern families live under different socioeconomic conditions. So you should build your argument upon this point. Contrast the life-styles and requirements of modern and old families. Then tell how difficult for one person to fulfill all family requirements. You can have a great para with this argument and convince your examiner with very good examples.
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Feb 7, 2013   #3
Almost in modern families both of parents are working and both of them are responsible for child -rearing. --> I think its better to use "they" instead of "both of them" --> Almost in modern families both of parents are working and they are responsible for child -rearing.

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