The role of physical strength in sports - IELTS test

It is a common perception among a fraction of people that physical strength plays a key role in succeeding in sport. In contrast, others prefer that mental strength is more necessary to secure the winning position. Before drawing a conclusion, this passage will examine both perspectives, though I personally believe that mental strength is more essential as it plays as the control to utilize the physique to the best outcome.

On one hand, some people agree that physical resistance plays an important role in acquiring the best results in sport. Physical power indicates a person's capability of achieving triumph in athletic activity. A commendatory capacity of physical brawnness can lead to higher sustainability on stamina, resulting in more power output, and presumably better efficiency in completing the activity. For example, a myriad of sports, such as football, require the players to have a robust physique to decrease the possibility of injury during the match.

On the other hand, while physical greatness provides a higher chance of succeeding in victory, emotional toughness can not be neglected. Mental resilience can enhance the innate power of an athlete, as it covers decision-making, tenacity in pursuing goals, and eventually, a better mentality ensures the athlete possesses vast determination to achieve the best result despite the lack of huskiness. For instance, in football, an unyielding mentality can turn the tables even in a losing position, which leads to unexpected decisions that can lead to a victorious path.

To conclude, while there are believable opinions for the necessity of physical resistance, it appears transparent to me that the benefits provided by mental toughness overcome the hurdles. Eventually, a professional athlete with a robust physique will achieve better results if followed by unswayed determination.

While I admire your desire to show your capacity to use English words, oftentimes, you are not using the correct synonym for a word or, you end up using a word that has a totally different meaning and is therefore, not applicable to the sentence or paragraph that you are writing. I know that you want to score well in the LR section but, you cannot do that when you are using words out of context. The way to score better in the IELTS test is to use simple English words to compose your work. The reviewer will give you a higher score in the LR section if you use simple or basic English words that actually apply in the correct way to the discussion that you are trying to present.

Now, for the discussion proper. You did well in presenting the two opposing views in the discussion. What I find wanting in the paragraphs though, are the representations of your personal point of view in relation to the public opinion. This could be done in one or two sentences towards the end of the paragraph. That will allow you to present a well rounded discussion that delivers on the response format expectation of the examiner.

Even though I have comments about your response presentation, I want you to know that you did a good job at writing this piece. You can further improve your writing style for these types of questions by applying the corrections I have given above.