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IELTS Task 2: The roles of computers in the modern life


Vjnhnguyen 2 / 1  
Oct 18, 2016   #1
"As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replaced more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result."

In recent years, the world is more and more modern, computers are used widely to replace human in many fields such as accounting, management, scheduling,etc. but one of the typical cases i want to mention is using computers in order to operate the system. That brings a lot of obvious advantages, there are some disadvantages as well.

I believe there are three main advantages. First of all, the computers always work with the same efficient without being influenced by any conditions that the human can be made like bad healthy, hot weather, cool weather. Second, using computers to instate human activity will raise productivity, computers will control the system's operation following what people set up. Unless any computers, there need a lot of people to operate the system, when using computers, the job just need a person to control the computers which operate the system. Finally, it is very ideal for using computers replaces human to work at grave-shift. If people work over night for a long time, they will get sick and it is not happen when they use computers.

However, that also exists a few disadvantages. In my view, when appearing any troubles, computers can never treat. And those will not realize the problem to stop the system. Also, working on computers to control the system is needing a highly advanced technique and combination with knowledgeable in information technology. Beside, in my opinion, the biggest problem is that there are a lot of unemployments in many under-developed and large population countries. If every company uses computers to replace human activities, it is a big dangerous for unskilled worker class. And the society's vices will be more popular when existing so much unemployment.

Therefore, I think the advantages of using computers to instate some job positions are greater than the disadvantages. If this advance is widely common to the firms, the productivity may rise the profit, there is also country's revenue and improves human's life. Beside that, government should considerate on trainings to the unskilled worker class to be better and get the good jobs.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 18, 2016   #2
Hi Tony, I would like to share a few insight to your essay but before I do, I would like to make mention that the advancement of technology in the use of computers to be particular, has done a tremendous job in making our lives easier than we ever expected. I remember when my parents use to write each other a hand written note and it will take a few days,weeks and even months, before they can respond or receive a reply, this is due to the fact that the letter goes through a lot of hands, a lot of factors are to be considered in order for the letter to make it back to my mom or my dad.

Well, hey, nowadays, my dad sends a text message and presto, in a matter of seconds, my dad receives it and can reply in an instant, to the delight of my mom, what I'm trying to draw is, the advancement of technology has definitely brought us a huge advantage and edge towards life and how we live it, however, coupled with this advantage are a few disadvantages that I believe is all in the hands of the person who is responsible in using and taking care of it.

Moving on, below are my thoughts on your essay;

- Therefore, I thinkbelieve ( be firm in your ideas and what you believe in ) the advantages
- of using computers to instatereplace or fill some job
- If this advanceThis advancement is widely common
- to the firms,
- the productivity may riseraise the profit,
- there is also country's revenue can be improved
- and improveseventually enhance human's life.
- Besides that,the government
- should be considerate on trainings tofor the unskilled
- worker class to be better and get the good jobs.

There you have it Tony, I hope the above remarks and corrections help in your revision.
ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Oct 19, 2016   #3
Aloha Vjnhnguyen, here are my thoughts:

I think your essay is little bit out of task response. The question mentions "Describe somejob positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problemthat may result", but you just explain some advantages and disadvantages on your essay.

Let me share how to write introduction according to my perspective. First of all, introduction consists of two main ideas, paraphrasing the question (background essay) and writer's position (introducing idea).

I hope it can be helpful
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Oct 22, 2016   #4
Hello Tony Nguyen, this is some correction from me and feel free to correct me too!

In recent years, the world is more and more modern, computers are used widely to replace human in many fieldsactivities such as accounting, ...

but one of the typical cases that i want to mention is ...

ThatIt brings a lot of obvious advantages,there are someand disadvantages as well.

....by any conditions that the human can be made ...

However, thatthis trendalso existshave a few disadvantages.


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