The existence of unhealthy diet influences the lifestyle of children. The strong taste and the easiness to find it make them enjoy it. This has become a problem that needs to solve by parties which is directly related to the young generations. The sides are included both parents and teachers.
Most of children life has spent with their parents. It means parents have important influence to the kids. The first education is also gotten from the family and the eldest one must be great enough in sharing information about healthy diet. The information can be originated from father, mother and elder siblings. They can start their sharing from the explanation about the meaning of unhealthy food, then talking about the existence harmful ingredients, and describe the risk of eating the less healthy diet. In addition, parents can supply kid's food for their mealtime.
In the other hand, the role of teachers is also essential. Start from childhood period to teenager period, the young people get through their life in school. They spend much time in breakfast and lunch in the school. Although parents already provide food provisions, the awareness of eating healthy diet must be built in school. The teacher can give explanation to students more complete by using science language, related to body impact, especially in biology subject. Teachers can oversee the diet which is consumed by pupils during mealtime while control the foodstuff in canteen.
In conclusion, both of parents and teacher have involved the children lifestyle, mainly in eating. They can be the example for them avoiding consume unhealthy food.
Hi Hirani03,
I have suggestion to enhance your writing:
This has become a problem that needs to solve by ...
This phenomenon lead children to the dire consequence and it should be overcome by doing the most effective method which is conducted stakeholders who are related to the young generations.
Most of children life => it doesn't make sense
Most of children
It means parents have important influence [...] => this paragraph has a jumping idea
In the other hand, the role of teachers is also essential. [...] => also in this paragraph, you explained about parents in the first sentence but reexplain about schools in third sentence.
The teacher can give explanation to ...
Teachers can oversee the diet which ...
please concern about using article the properly
Hello, Hirani :)
I just want to say that maybe it'd be better for you if you provided us the question at the first place so I can compare your writing answer to the questions asked.
Thank you and good luck :)
Hi Hikuma, below are my thoughts on your essay but before I do so, I would like to impart that controlling diet for children is not a normal scenario, however, I believe this can be a way for parents to secure that their children are eating healthy and not necessarily putting them on diet.
Having said that, below are my suggestions to enhance your essay.
- InOn the other hand,
- Start fromFrom childhood
- period to teenager periodyears ,
- muchmore time
- inat breakfast
- and lunch in the school.
- The teacherTeachers can give
- students at a more complete and systematic manner
- by using the science language, r
- controlling the foodstuff in the canteen.
- In conclusion, both of parents and teachers have
- involved the childrens lifestyle,
- be thea good example
- for them avoiding consumeto avoid consuming unhealthy food.
There you have it Hikuma, I hope the above remarks help you out in your revision.
