Unanswered [0] / Urgent [0]
 
Home / Writing Feedback2

"When in Rome, do as Romans do" Travelling and promotion of globalisation


Thank you for reading my topic, I'm so thankful if you check and correct my mistakes

Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries?

broadening travelers' horizon and betterment of the local life



In recent years, globalization has been promoted throughout the world, accelerating international tourism. Many adopt a view that the hostility between local citizens and foreign tourists because of their distinct culture and notion; however, the benefits of international travel can be overshadowed the disadvantages.

Firstly, it is popular that the oversea tourists usually show their respect to local cultures, although they are sometimes conflicting, opposing to their lifestyle conception. In fact, many arrivers feel interested when they discover local cultures helping visitors leave their prejudices toward these customs. As an saying goes: "When in Rome, do as Romans do", this old saying indicates that tourists traveling to other countries should comply with their cultures and this is a stepping-stone encouraging foreigners to understand locals more clearly. For example, wearing niqab in Arab nations is a mandatory because of teachings of Koran but it is a strange thing in Western countries, as a result of this people can gain a mutual understanding when they travel to each nation.

Secondly, another justification for international tourism is that it can open up more opportunities for business activities throughout the world. Anecdotal evidence shows that investors are able to expand their company to foreign countries and run it better when international travel is boosted, after that, businessman can take full advantages of their experience. Besides, foreign investment also benefit to residents which help them earning handsome incomes through providing service materials for tourists. In other words, this commerce may result in enhancing their life, respecting their customs and increasing the hospitality, thereby reducing the enmity each other.

In conclusion, not only does international travel curb cultural perceptive differences but also broaden travelers' horizon and improve local life, notwithstanding the lack of comprehension of a few people in modern community.

Well, there are a few problems with your Introduction paragraph.

Your first sentence should paraphrase the question, while in your essay you are generalizing the whole topic. It's better to start writing straight foward to the topic.

About your second sentence - you are not taking a position?

Many adopt a view that the hostility between local citizens and foreign tourists because of their distinct culture and notion - WHAT VIEW?

... a view that there is a hostility.

I will suggest to use this strategy for your introductions -

Paraphrase question
Thesis statement
Outline statement

So first you start with paraphrasing the question. Then you state your point - "I think that most people can benefit from the traveling and it certainly help people to espouse new ways of thinking."(that is just an example - but the point is to show what is your opinion and to make a clear statement.)

After that, write an Outline statement(what are your arguments.) "Firstly, i will explain how the travelling can help many people learn new languages and secondly, i will discuss how travelling can influence the way you see the world" (That is not a good example, but i hope you can get my point)


Home / Writing Feedback /