Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS 2: RUNNING OUT NATURAL RESOURCES - we have started to look to space for solutions


pikul 23 / 26 3  
Feb 8, 2016   #1
As Earth runs out of natural resources, we have started to look to space for solutions. However, some people argue that this is wrong thing to do, and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth. To what extent do you agree with them? What alternatives might there be to exploiting space for natural resources?

More attention should be paid on natural resources. As seen, several space programs are made in order to look for another energy to satisfy people needs, while others argue that people should develop renewable energy on the Earth. In my view, the latter method is much better instead of the former one.

Needless to say, the massive exploitation of natural resources on the Earth by people is the reason why natural resources will run out soon. This situation push people to find out the alternative on the space since there are lots of fuels, minerals, metal outside the Earth. A 2010 recent NASA study reveals that asteroid had potential to be used for human needs since it had fairly similar content with minerals on the Earth. This resulted in governments trying to take those sources from the space. However, substantial funding should be taken into account due to the cost of space travel.

Apart from previous discussion, others believe that people should find out the alternative on the Earth because amount of energy is not used by people such wind, water, solar as much as possible yet. According to Professor Smith, an expert from Harvard University, states that water can be used as power plants which can supply amount of electricity for human life and does not give rise to pollution since it does not burn such fossil fuels. As a result, people can gain their needs without earning much money and keeping environment at the same time.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although space exploration can be a solution but it will be wasting much money and time as well. Instead, people should use renewable energy on the Earth within make a great effort in order to find out new technology which is appropriate with the renewable energy.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 8, 2016   #2
Tau, don't focus your essay solely on the renewable energy resource discussion. Speak of the need for space exploration and natural resources in a general manner as the prompt dictates. If you limit your discussion from the very start, you will also limit the method by which you can discuss your reasons. Since the essay prompt does not focus on a single renewable source or mineral, you should do the same in your essay.

Do not make factual claims regarding the existence of more minerals and natural resources outside of the earth. While there is a possibility that these may exist, there is no factual evidence to support such claims. Therefore, your discussion should also err on the side of caution and discuss the interest of space exploration for natural resources in the same manner. Make reference to claims, not facts.

You have covered the best evidence for the discussion in two paragraphs. There is nothing that cannot be considered acceptable in this line of discussion. However, your discussion is still wanting because you are lacking one very important factor that is demanded by the prompt. You did not offer your personal opinion regarding the topic. You stated it in the thesis statement but did not offer a paragraph to explain it in the essay, as expected. Your opinion would have been the layman's opinion, based upon your personal knowledge or understanding of the issue. You should have presented such a paragraph in order to further prove that you have a clear understanding of the prompt and the ability to defend your stand on the matter in proper English.

This is a well developed essay that still has the potential to become better. I hope to see your continued improvement in your upcoming essays.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: RUNNING OUT NATURAL RESOURCES - we have started to look to space for solutions