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sacrificial love - I was contented, relieved and in peace.


amelia95 1 / 1  
Feb 8, 2011   #1
I darted as fast as my legs could bring me. I told myself I had to catch up with the jeep in front. It was my only hope. The fumes from the exhaust pipes mystified my vision. I had to strike when the iron is hot, my hind legs gave a mighty kick to the ground and I lurched forward as the jeep slowed down for a sharp bend ahead. I landed on the rear of the jeep with a stumble and I was onboard.

Upon realising that i was soon to become a threat to their mission, they started to swerve the jeep from left to right, in luck of shaking me off it. After countless of failed attempts, they conceded. The jeep came to a stop and the hunters alighted brandishing their rifles. I leapt off the jeep and monitored their every move. One of the hunters stepped forward and looked at me without batting an eyelid. Clad with khaki shorts, big leathered boots and with hair cropped short, he raised his weapon and aimed directly at my head. I flinched. My eyes shifted from the imminent danger to the motive of my forthcoming.

It was then that I realised, I was cornered - I had no way out. As they started to move closer, one of them fished out a net. The hunters' tactics were now clear. I had to think of a way out quickly, I did what my instincts told me to, I roared.

The roar reverberated around the surrounding trees. The hunters stared in bewilderment. This was my only chance, my chance to go against them. I pounced on the gunman, sinking my teeth into his arm, disabling him from operating the gun.

'BANG!'
Blinded by my impulsiveness, I was caught off guard. The other gunman shot my unprotected back, leaving me with a fatal wound. With the first gunman lying unconscious from the massive loss of blood, I puckered up strength and attempted to attack the man who shot me. This was a do die situation. The hunter with the net estimated my running speed and casted the net. He missed. Lady luck was on my side. There was only one armed hunter left. The bullet whizzed past my head as he pressed the trigger at almost point blank range. The two remaining hunters fled for their lives, knowing that they have been outsmarted.

My back was bleeding profusely. I turned and limped towards the jeep. Thee it was, my precious treasure they had stolen from me. The best gift heaven had ever given to me. Unaffected by what just happened, my cub was safe. I overturned the cage and freed it. I have never felt so relieved. This day would forever be etched in my mind. I caressed my cub with my head.

'Flee, my son', was all I could say.
I gave it one more look and lay beside it. The large bright sun dipped slowly over the horizon and disappeared. The last images I saw was that of my cub fleeing to safety. I was contented, relieved and in peace.
gabrielacb 5 / 17  
Feb 8, 2011   #2
What is the prompt? This is a very different kind of undergraduate essay than that I'm used to...
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 15, 2011   #3
Those first few sentences give it a feeling of urgency.. because they are so brief and punchy. :-)

I had to strike when the iron was hot. My hind legs gave a

Typo here: Thee it was, my...

This has great action. I want to mention, though, that in the beginning I got a little confused about what was happening. If you add one or two key words, you can make it so that the reader perfectly understands what to visualize.

:-)
OP amelia95 1 / 1  
Feb 19, 2011   #4
It is a narrative essay.


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