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IELTS : Salary is the most important consideration when choosing a job


thanhphongct1 5 / 18 2  
Jun 5, 2014   #1
Topic : When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Along with the increasing physical demands of human life, salary has become the most influential consideration in defining careers of everyone. I personally suppose that there are still many other aspects which should be seen as important as income when people choose a job. In the following paragraphs, some of my viewpoints would be given and analyzed respectively.

On one hand, i agree that money is very essential in order to meet human' basic needs. More specifically, people tend to choose high salary jobs so as to not only help themselves but also support partially or wholly their family's living needs such as food , clothes, accommodation, education, medication. It is obvious that people who are woking in art or painting industries, for example, will find it quite difficult to live comfortably and enjoyably. This is because they are doing what they love, their income however seems to be quite low compared to many other career paths.

On the other hand, i believe that if we are passionate about what we are working, we are likely to achieve success easily in that field. There are plenty of people, who are now really successful, have started working in challenging as well as competitive fields as singers, dancers and painters. Besides, important factors in choosing a job such as level of happiness, sastification of jobs, personal relationships, professional skills, working enviroment, managers and collegues should not be underestimated. Finally, some people choose a career due to their desire to help others and contribute positively to their countries and societies.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that income is still a vital determination impacting us on choices of careers. Nonetheless, passion on jobs ,in my opinion, can bring actual happiness and help us get promoted in working to earn even more money later on . ( 300 words )

i think this is a tough topic, because i could not use many acedamic words and develop my ideas, i wrote this within 45 minutes and i had to read a sample before my writing my own. can you guys rate it ( if possible ) and give me better sentences that can replace mine, thank alot :D
brisky 5 / 13 2  
Jun 5, 2014   #2
Money is the very essential inorder to meet our basic human needs. People prefer highly paid jobs as they hav to takcare themselves as well as to meet the demands of his or her family like food, clothes, accomodation, shelter and medications. Inorder to meet these demands one have to work soo hard even if he or she doesnt enjoy what they are doing..Every one of us dream about a better future, we can only acheive our goals with money and without thatwe are nothing.

Some people do jobs that makes them happy even if itdoesnt pays them well.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 5, 2014   #3
Along with the increasing physical demands of human life, salary has become the most influential consideration in defining careers of everyone.

Well, I find this sentence pretty weak in delivering your idea clearly. You have made it unnecessarily too complicated. Your opening sentence should have the ability to hook the reader - It should be catchy, interesting, clear , meaningful and relevant to your topic. If you do not get a catchy idea to open your essay, begin with paraphrasing the prompt that explains the background of the issue.
OP thanhphongct1 5 / 18 2  
Jun 7, 2014   #4
Money is the very essential inorder to meet our basic human needs. People prefer highly paid jobs as they hav to takcare themselves as well as to meet the demands of his or her family like food, clothes, accomodation, shelter and medications. Inorder to meet these demands one have to work soo hard even if he or she doesnt enjoy what they are doing..Every one of us dream about a better future, we can only acheive our goals with money and without thatwe are nothing.

Some people do jobs that makes them happy even if itdoesnt pays them well.

thank u :D

Well, I find this sentence pretty weak in delivering your idea clearly. You have made it unnecessarily too complicated. Your opening sentence should have the ability to hook the reader - It should be catchy, interesting, clear , meaningful and relevant to your topic. If you do not get a catchy idea to open your essay, begin with paraphrasing the prompt that explains the background of the issue.

i got it, so i should directly mention to the topic right from the introduction
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 1, 2014   #5
dumi:
Well, I find this sentence pretty weak in delivering your idea clearly. You have made it unnecessarily too complicated. Your opening sentence should have the ability to hook the reader - It should be catchy, interesting, clear , meaningful and relevant to your topic. If you do not get a catchy idea to open your essay, begin with paraphrasing the prompt that explains the background of the issue.

i got it, so i should directly mention to the topic right from the introduction

Ok... let me help you with your intro;
Along with the increasing physical demands of human lifein today's society , salary has become the most influentialimportant consideration in defining careers of everyone.choosing a job for most of the people.

Follow this approach for the intro;
Begin your intro with a hook sentence that can grab the attention of the reader. It should be catchy, meaningful and relevant to the topic. Then introduce the background of the issue to the by paraphrasing the prompt. Finally make a statement that clearly explains your view to the reader. :)


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