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IELTS WRITING TASK 1: sales figures - export performance between 2003 and 2008

chauvy2002 2 / 1  
Mar 31, 2018   #1

total sales of goods to US and Europe

The bar chart illustrates Company ABC's export performance between 2003 and 2008, products were exported to North America and Europe. Units are measured in dollars in million.

Overall, yearly figures for exportation to Europe varied, whereas that to North America followed a trend of rising. Products exported to Europe were more significant than to North America in the first two years, whilst the company transported more goods to North America in the following years.

In terms of exportation to North America , the rate was the lowest in 2003 (just below 20 millions dollars). The number increased steadily to over 50 dollars in million in 2008. Each year, the value of products exported to North America increased by around 10 millions.

On the other hand, the total sales of goods to Europe throughout the period stayed above 20 millions dollars. From 2003 to 2005, the sales amount increased by slightly over 10 millions. Then, it experienced a fall to precisely 20 millions in 2008.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,989 2700  
Apr 1, 2018   #2
Chau, congratulations on writing a little more than the minimum required number of words for this essay. You did a good job for the most part. Your presentation of the obvious information cannot be faulted. However, you can be faulted for placing information in a parenthesis instead of presenting it as a part of the discussion. Information in a parenthesis, although acceptable, means that this is a minor discussion point and can be omitted in the overall consideration. That is not the case for the information you placed in the parenthesis and that will have an effect on your TA score.

Another fault in the essay is that you did not make a comparison discussion, as described in the original prompt instructions for similar information. 2005 shows equal exports to North America and Europe and should have been mentioned specifically in the report presentation. Also, you failed to use the keyword "sales figures" in the essay along with the "export" keyword. Both are important elements of the discussion and should have been equally represented in the discussion. In relation to that, uour opening statement also failed to include a discussion instruction summary.

Take into consideration that you will be presenting this report to an analyst who will not have time to review the actual chart. Be precise with the information presented. Don't take shortcuts, don't demote information, and don't skip the presentation of comparison information either. These can all have a strong downward score influence on your final score.

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