Hi Angga, I like the way that you developed this report summary. You were very informative and clear. Yet, I reckon that your lexical resource is little bit different from your previous essay. I have no idea what is wrong with this essay, but I notice that the use of advance vocabularies were not as many as your past essay. Therefore, if you have a target to reach band 6 or above, try to use more complex vocabularies in both Tasks (1 and 2). That said, there are still some grammar issues with your work that need to be addressed.
The pie charts compares
The pie charts compare...
an increase.In 2003,
an increase. In 2003,...
biggerwhich
bigger, which
However, the figure rose to 22% in 2013
However, the figure raised to 22% in 2013...
that it no longer in lowest position
that it was no longer in the lowest position. (missing verb)
smallerin
smaller in
So, good work on your well-developed report. I hope to see more improvement with your upcoming essays.
Good luck! :)