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The salmon passes from infant to adult during the natural process known as the life cycle


phong3baotap 7 / 19 4  
Mar 23, 2020   #1

The life cycle of the salmon



The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My Essay:
The pictures illustrate the way in which the salmon passes from infant to adult during the natural process known as the life cycle.
Overall, the process has different stages starting from a higher stream through a lower stream and eventually to the ocean.
Beginning at the watercourse, which flows sluggishly, the salmon exists as an embryo in fertilized eggs, interspersed among pebbles right at reed stumps in the riverbed. About half a year later tiny fry, which are from one third to nearly 1 decimeter in size, leave the nest of gravel to prepare for a new life downstream.

The second phase labelled "lower river" with the swift current lasts roughly 48 months until when they have grown to between 5 and 6 inches in smolt's body length.

Finally, the juvenile fishes gather at river estuary to travel offshore and thenceforth they officially enter adulthood. They spend 5 birthdays before reaching the size of three-quarter meter to be able to swim against the current in the river where they were born and lay eggs there to reset a new cycle for the next generation.

(215 words)




Holt [Contributor] - / 8,832 2627  
Mar 23, 2020   #2
The original prompt describes the image as a diagram. Therefore, you cannot call it a picture in your summary overview. There is a difference between the two. A diagram provides instructions while a picture is just a still life that does not depict a series of events in a manner similar to a diagram. Rather than saying "picture", you could have referred to an "illustrative presentation" instead. That is because that phrase refers to an image with instructions included.

You used the term "decimeter" when the illustration referred to the measurements as "centimeters". You did not use the keyword upper river, yet you referred to the lower river in your report. That will cause confusion for the reader. You have a tendency to use your personal interpretation of the illustrative image rather than using the terms provided. You will score better in the LR section if you show that you can properly use the provided keywords in the data reporting.

You need to make sure that you use the original keyword in the task 1 essay for clarity purposes. To avoid making descriptive mistakes, use only the reference words contained in the original. This needs to be keyword accurate because of the report you are making. The task 1 essay is heavy with factual data, so stick to the presented information. Do not change it.
vuthuylinh2611 19 / 65 1  
Mar 23, 2020   #3
@phong3baotap
You used a wide range of vocabulary in your essay. That's a good point. However, regarding content. I feel that there is a lack of connection between phrases of salmon development. The second phrase happened in the lower river under the condition of fast flowing water but you didn't mentioned it in your essay.
OP phong3baotap 7 / 19 4  
Mar 23, 2020   #4
@Holt
@vuthuylinh2611
Thank you very much!


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