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[GRE] I-3-AW-NO.1 - Salt - Education


xyzyanxue 1 / 2  
Apr 13, 2011   #1
3) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Education plays a key role in determing one's opportunities for success. Granted that educational institutions are among the most influential factors in an individual's intellectual development and the choice of career path. Therefore I could understand why many people assert that educational institutions should guarantee the fields students pursued are not unlikely to succeed. However, in my view, as mature and rational individuals, students have the right and obligation to design their own life.

First, educational institutions, neither for-profit nor not-for-profit organizations, have no right to prevent students from pursuing dreams no matter how ridiculous those dreams look like. Technically, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another. However, as independent mature human beings, individuals do not have to follow the crowd. For example, Dr. Dian Fossey, the famous American zoologist, who undertook an extensive study of gorilla groups over a period of 18 years, dedicated her whole life to protect the endangered mountain gorillas. Although Fossey's life was cut short, her work makes significant differents to primatology. Let us image that if Fossey were persuaded by the educational institutions to continue her study in a business course in college, which seemed much more prospect in the public perception, instead of taking the bull by the horns and devoting herself in biology, we would never see the famous zoologist Dr. Dian Fossey and the endangered mountain gorillas might completely die out already. Therefore, educational institutions should not leave in lurch their own purpose, which is schooling or training people in certain fields, to interfere with student's careful decision on career path.

Secondly, I doubt the criteria for judgement of whether a field of study is one of those in which students are "unlikely to succeed" or not. As a matter of fact, what we can judge is only whether a subject is less popular or not, but this has no direct connection with achieving success. Success does not just means wealth, fame and power. Finding out what matters deeply to you and effective ways to take action, with highly developed sense of accountability, audacity, passion and responsible optimism, no matter what subject you choose, you could achieve success. There are so many cute examples from the winners of Ig Nobel Prizes which honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think. For instance, last year's medicine prize went to Simon Rietweld and Ilja van Beest, who discovered that symptoms of asthma can be treeted with a roller-coaster ride. Maybe this example is somewhat excessive, but we can learn that individuals can make differences in any certain field. On the contrary, if millions of people pursued the top popular speciality, like a narrow footlog bridge, the majority would be certain to fail.

Admittedly, however, careers advisory service and specialized subject recommenation, given by educational institutions to help students who are confused by numerous genetic terms pick out the most suitable majors, are profitable and reduce the burden of "deciophobia". But the final decision still should be made by students themselves.

In conclusion, with the freedom of individual development, the social purpose of education, which is passing on knowledge and preserving diversification of culture, would be better served.
aosi111 1 / 3  
Apr 14, 2011   #2
Several tips from aosi

1.The structure and template of the essay is so good, your core idea is clear and pinpoint.

2.第一段中,granted that 是一个有让步意味的词,但是在后面却没有转折部分,后面的therefore也看不出因果关系。(不知道我理解到没。。)

3.The fourth is spendid (or artificial to play word game? I don't know...)

Your work is so cool. Maybe I can learn a lot through this program.


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