"Universities should give the same amount of money to their students sports activities as they give to their universities libraries."
Do you agree or disagree with following statement?
Use specific reason and examples to support your opinion.
I think it is a little hard to scrutinize and sum up all the aspects of this object in a 12-13 line essay because it is a kind of complicated question to answer. and I think that is the why the determiners of the universities are still arguing about this topic to make a decision ,more economic and more effective. but if I found myself in the choice position, I will give them the same amount of money because each benefits and advantages of them are not outweigh than the other we. let me lay out my reasons.
First of all, I think the necessity of assigning money to educational departments like libraries and research projects is clear to all. if they can't access to money, obviously, science and knowledge won't advance not even a word. since progress the science and educate the students is the main purpose of the universities, it is absurd to deprive them of money.
On the other hand, all we know that education is absolutely depends on health. From statistical point of view, students who participate in sports programs are more physically and mentally healthy and the point is that they are more successful in their lessons. that remind me a sensible sentence the wise owl says .he healthy mind is he healthy body. which means effects of sports are in the same level of effects of libraries.
In summary, I tried to give my reasons on the same necessity of giving money to libraries and sport. in my opinion giving the same amount of money to both of them are undeniable and incontrovertible.
I think it is a little hard to scrutinize and sum up all the aspects of this object in a 12-13 line(rows) essay because it is a kind of complicated question to answer. and (And )(You should try to not use words like:and/but/so, instead, you can use: Moreover/Nevertheless/therefore ) I think that is the why (why ) the determiners of the universities are still arguing about this topic to make a decision ,more economic and more effective. but (Nevertheless ) if I found myself in the choice position, I will give (allocate )them the same amount of money because each benefits and advantages of them are not outweigh than the other we. ( the benefits adn advantages of either one do not outweigh the other one . ) let me lay out my reasons.(I personally think this sentence is not necessary)
First of all, I think the necessity of assigning money to educational departments like libraries and research projects is clear to all. if they can't access to money ( don't have access to money / can't access money ), obviously, science and knowledge won't advance not even a word. since progress the science and educate the students (Progress in the Science and educating the students ) is the main purpose (are the main purposes) of the universities, it is absurd to deprive them of money.
On the other hand, all we know that education is absolutely depends on health. From statistical point of view, students who participate in sports programs are more physically and mentally healthy and the point is that they are more successful in their lessons. that (, which ) remind (reminds ) me a sensible sentence the wise owl says .he healthy mind is he healthy body. (You should add double quotation marks here ) which means effects of sports are in the same level of effects of libraries.
In summary, I tried to give my reasons on the same necessity of giving money to libraries and sport. in my opinion giving the same amount of money to both of them are(is) undeniable and incontrovertible.
some vocabulary are good and has been exactly use.
But you do need to immprove your grammar, avoid making grammatical mistakes.
And try to not use "I think " too often.
You can do better.:)
Just for your reference, as I myself is still a mediocre learner in English
