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Satisfaction of a job plays a critical role in deciding one's overall happiness

vuthuylinh2611 19 / 61 1  
Mar 23, 2020   #1

Factors contributing to job satisfaction

Topic: As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

As an average worker spends nearly one-third of his life at workplace, whether he is satisfied with is job or not plays a critical role in deciding his overall happiness and health condition. In my opinion, elements that contribute to job satisfaction include salary and benefit, work-life balance and opportunity for growth.

Firstly, most people go to work to earn money to support themselves and their family. As a result, high salary with periodic revision for increase, attractive benefit and reward system definitely makes workers happy. Secondly, the ability to fulfill the job requirements and other personal goals at the same time also leads to satisfaction at work. If a job is too stressful or time consuming, it will prevent people from enjoying recreating activities and maintaining their personal relationships. This, in turn, will adversely affect their personal life as well as their health. The third element that helps build the fulfillment of workers is the opportunity for self-development. A position that enables workers to learn new skills and knowledge every day, make achievements in their career and pursue their passion creates the intrinsic happiness and the feeling of control over their own life. It is probably the dream job of many people.

Although the majority of employees want to enjoy their job, it is unrealistic to expect that all workers can get it. In fact, many people have to work in a job that does not suitable to their ability and interest for many reasons. Hard economic condition and lose control over the implementation of labor law also result in poor working condition in many job, making employees feel insecure and resentful.

In conclusion, although job satisfaction for everyone is something hard to be achieved, it will be possible to improve overall job satisfaction if the three above mentioned factors are developed.

I would appreciate all your comments on my essay.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,752 3084  
Mar 23, 2020   #2
Test takers often forget that there are some basic rules to follow when writing the task 2 essay:

- You only have 40 minutes to complete your writing so aim for 275-290 words
- You are scored on the clarity and connection of your explanations, not the number of reasons you provide in a paragraph. Each topic paragraph needs to cohesively transition to the next paragraph.

- You need to write a maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph focused on a single topic sentence each.
- Unless otherwise specified, all essays are 4 paragraphs long (paraphrase, 2 reasons, reverse paraphrase)

You forgot all of these elements in your presentation. You overwrote (275-290 words maximum), did not proofread (Several spelling errors abound), and barely developed clear discussions, examples, and presentations for your paragraphs (clarity and conciseness situations are clear in the essay). Never, under any circumstance, discuss 3 topics in one paragraph. That creates an incoherent explanation and a non-cohesive discussion presentation. Explain the reason, don't just enumerate it. That is how you lose overall scoring considerations.

Your reasoning paragraph should have been composed of 2 paragraphs alone. You should have picked 2 reasons that somehow relate to one another so that you could have properly transitioned from one topic to the next, creating a cohesive and coherent discussion presentation in the process. Right now, your second paragraph is just a big mess that does not help to increase your scoring consideration because none of the discussion ideas presented are justifiably explained.

Your introduction is using a measured sense of time in the life of a person. Since no such reference was made in the original prompt, you should not have done that. However, you did good work in outlining the discussion reasons. Word to the wise though, always write 3 sentences at the least. That is the minimum sentence requirement for the presentation to be considered a complete paragraph. The same goes for your reverse paraphrase. It should have 3 sentences representing the original prompt, your reasons, your basic explanation, and the closing sentence / solution.
OP vuthuylinh2611 19 / 61 1  
Mar 23, 2020   #3
Thank you for your comments. I will improve my essay

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