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Saudi Arabia - one important thing about your country that you would change?


zooba 1 / -  
Sep 27, 2010   #1
Hello dears !
after I took a look of your forum , I saw how much you are "hands by hands to help each others"

now I am here to correct my writing essays

I'll put 5 essays , whenever I get the correction from you I'll put the other one until I put them all "5"

and your help will mean a lot to me and my prayer won't stop for the helper :)

here is the first one :

1) If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Saudi Arabia is my country , which is follow Islamic rules in its life ,and I would change the most important thing that annoy me to apply it in this country on all women , it's wearing black Abaya this rule is making me disappoint for many reason from many directions .

First, it's a self-freedom, and Islam doesn't tell us to wear this kind of clothes to protect ourselves as women, we can wear as we do in other country, long T-shirt with pants and Hijab , moreover, there are none Muslims whom don't have these rules in their religion to wear it .so, we shouldn't let them wear it either they agree with or not .

Second of all , the weather here is hot doesn't satiable the black Abaya which absorb the sun's rays therefore it has to be a democratic to wear whatever women wants to, for example , Dana decide to wear white Abaya one day , and she said that she felt colder than the black one other example Jenifer is an American women used to wear pants and dress whenever she goes out now she said that the Abaya restricts her movement , she has to walk slowly and she missed to care of her clothes as long as Abaya is hide them and she wished with this weather to go to the beach and refreshes herself .

Finally, I think the only way you can tame the bride is to let him fly freely, this is the way you can tame everything. So, let others live their life as they want and don't rule them with cultural thing by saying this is Islamic , these are my reason to change wearing Abaya rule .

aspiring207 2 / 2  
Sep 27, 2010   #2
you make a good point but the essay is not well developed. There are a few grammatical errors you need to correct...your essay is less about the rule of wearing the Abaya and more about freedom of women(which includes wearing Abaya). elaborate more. Your conclusion is repetitive. explain why wearing Abaya is not favourable and then in the conclusion talk about the freedom and how it relates to wearing the Abaya. Need a lot of work here. Good luck.
Zubaida 18 / 35  
Sep 27, 2010   #3
Here are my suggestions:
Saudi Arabia is my country, which is follows the Islamic rules in its life ,and I would change the most important thing that annoys me to apply it in this country on all women , it's wearing black Abaya. T his rule is making me disappointdisappointed(disappoint is a verb, you should use an adjective here) for many reasons from many directions .

as we do in other countries ,

Hijab. M oreover, there are none Muslims whom don't have these rules in their religionsto wear it. S o, we shouldn't letforce them to wear it either they agree with or not .

the weather here is hot doesn't satiable the black Abaya which absorb the sun's rays (this sentence is unclear. restructure it)

I hope this will help.
Good Luck

the black Abaya which absorbs the sun's rays. T herefore, ...

the black one. A nother example,

whatever women wants to. F or example, (women is a plural noun, so you sould not add s to the verb or you can say: whatever woma n wants )

to let her fly freely,

Islamic. T hese are my reasons to change wearing Abaya rule .
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Sep 30, 2010   #4
This is a great thread! Thanks everyone. I'll offer some advice below.

Zainab, I'm glad you joined, and I hope you can enjoy not wearing the abaya at Rutgers! I don't like the way Christianity teaches that women should "submit" to their husbands, and I don't like the way Islam has different rules for men and women. In the 21st century, we should all wake up and have gender equality!

Saudi Arabia is my country, one that follows Islamic rules in its life, and I would change the most important thing that annoys me to apply it is a rule in this country that applies to all women. It's wearing black Abaya. This rule is making me disappointed for many reasons from many directions .

First, it's a self-freedom, and Islam doesn't tell us to wear this kind of clothes to protect ourselves as women, we can wear as we do in other country, long T-shirt with pants and Hijab.

Moreover, there are non-Muslims whom don't have these rules in their religion to wear it.----- I don't understand this sentence.

So, we shouldn't let them wear it; either they agree with or not .

Second of all, the weather here is hot and difficult to endure under the black Abaya which absorbs the sun's rays.

Therefore it should be a woman's decision whether she wants to wear something lie that or not.

Finally, I think the only way you can tame the bride is to let her fly freely. This is the way you can tame everything.

So, let others live their life as they want and don't rule them with a cultural thing by saying this is Islamic , these are my reason to change rule about wearing Abaya.


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