(Note: i'm practising writing the introduction first so this paragraph just have the introduction)
problems of our planet
These days , our planet is facing with many problems such as global-warming or the disappearance of the ozone layer. Some people argued that the best way to help our planet avoid unwanted result is alter our lifestyle. In my opinion, i completely agree with this idea and in this essay I'll support my opinion with examples.
(i want to say thanks you all for helping me in advance)
1. ... facing with many problems
you need to remove the word in bold
2. our planet *to*avoid
you need to add the word "to"
3. result is ...
should be "result is by altering our lifestyles"
4. and in this essay I'll support my ...
i think you do not need to put the sentence. it would be better for you to state some reasons of why do you agree with the statement.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,693 3497
When writing the paraphrase, you should avoid adding information not contained int he original presentation because that changes the slant of the discussion. You are required to represent the original essay without added or removed information. So your addition of information in the first sentence is a point against your paraphrased presentation. When you say that you completely agree with the idea, the next statement should include the reason you agree with the idea. Use at least 2 topic representations to end the paraphrase. That way you accomplish the following:
- Accurate prompt restatement
- Your response to the opinion instruction
- An outline of the discussion topics that will add clarity to your opinion
When you accomplish these 3 tasks, you will get a decent TA score.