Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
People have different views about whether it is necessary for using money to attempt to protect threatened animal species. To a certain extent, I agree that spending money to preserve these kinds of animal is totally worth it. However, I also think that there are other existed issues in the world need to be solved.
First of all, wild creatures play a significant role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. The loss of ecosystem balance may cause huge impacts in many fields of the globe such as economy, education or science. For example, it can create a lot of catastrophe like a thunderstorm or tsunami which destroy any financial center and cause economic collapse. Secondly, younger generations may lack knowledge about some kinds of species and lose the chance to analyze them. Just imagine how bad it is if our next generations have no clue about panda when they see a picture. Lastly, the planet needs the diversity of species and animals all depend upon each other for survival.
At the same time, in addition to protecting the endangered creature, I also believe that our Earth has many other problems that we need to work on. For example, with Covid-19 pandemic, the world needs to deal with a lot of problems: loss of human life, economic and social disruption, employment and labor issues and every single problem is in a state of emergency. The Government and authorities need to consider what is the most essential issues at the moment, so that money can be used rationally not only for animals but also for people in the world.
In conclusion, while I disagree with those who claim that it is a wastage of money when using for preserving wildlife, I also think that there are other concerns that need to be solved. If we can work on these logically, we can improve the world generally.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 However, I also think that there are other existed issues in the world need to be solved.
This creates an unclear opinion. Read the question again. It asks you to pick one side to defend in your discussion. The instruction provided does not allow for a comparative discussion. Your TA score,and the whole essay for that matter, will be prone to a failing mark due to lack of opinion quality. The other error your essay shows is an incorrect response format. Your extent response is invalid as there is no clear opinion and your are depending both sides instead of a single opinion. Which side do you really support and why? Right now, you don't have a true opinion along the required lines.
It is highly obvious that you are unfamiliar with the discussion requirements. You must read more examples of various writing formats before you write another practice essay. That will help you avoid incorrect response statements and incorrect discussion formats.
To a certain extent, I agree that spending money to preserve these kinds of animal is totally worth it.
Please try to re-read the statement, "Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale." It would be better if you say: I totally disagree with the idea that spending money to protect threatened species is worthless + your reason/s.
However, I also think that there are other existed issues in the world need to be solved.
You have to answer the question; therefore, you have to clearly state your side whether you agree or disagree. Likewise, the idea in this sentence is too broad and irrelevant in connection to the given statement.
You are expressing an unclear opinion, you both agree and disagree. You should choose one side and explain with reasons and examples, instead.
Also, your second body paragraph is quite too broad with just examples, lack of discussion.
