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The scale of teachers recruitment in Canada over the years

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 29, 2016   #1
(sorry, i cannot insert image of the graph because in my book)

The educators who successfully accepted in enrollment with regular teaching occupations by graduation year in Ontario since 2011 to 2007 is shown in the line chart and is measured in percent. Overall, recruitment of French-language educator percentage has bigger than English-language teachers and although both of them start in near start point, French-language teachers reach a peak in 2007 while English-language educators bottomed in the same period.

In 2001, both of French-language educators and English-language educators stood at almost the same percentage in a majority. In the next year shows both of them sharply decreased in more than a half. Furthermore, French-language teacher percentage has increased trend since 2002 to 2005 while English-language percentage still decreased to four-ten in 2003. There was a gradual increase since 2003 to 2005 by a small number.

There was a slightly decreased French-language educator portion to approximately 68 percent while English-language educator percentage sharply decreased more than one-third. In the end of period, French-language teacher percentage reached a peak at more than 70 percent. On the contrary, English-language educators bottomed at approximately a quarter.

mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 29, 2016   #2
Hi dioba, let me give you some comments

1. ... in Ontario since 20112007 to 20072011 ...
You can make a sequence from smaller to higher

2. ... educator percentage hashad bigger than ...
Owing to the fact that the data tell in the past, you must use past tense form

3. There was a slightlyslightdecreaseddecrease French-language ...
There is a verb 'was' in the sentence, so you can change slightly into slight and decreased to decrease

Thank You
Keep writing
SYDA 11 / 21 2  
Nov 29, 2016   #3

... year in Ontario since2007 to 20011 is shown revealed (use less common word )in the line chart ...
... French-language educator percentage had bigger than ...

There was a slightlyuse less common word decreased French-language (...) educator percentage sharply decreaseddeclineddecreased is repetitive word more than one-third.

... educator experienced a trivial decreased to approximately 68 percent,( use a comma here) while English-language educator ...

keep writing :)
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 30, 2016   #4
Dear Dioba, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

...by graduation year in Ontario since 20112001 to 2007...

...hashada bigger proportion than English-language teachers...

... teachers reachedaits peak in 2007 while English-language ...

...showsshowed both of them decreased sharply decreased in more than a half.

... teacher percentage hashad increased trend since 2002 to 2005..

There was a slightly decreasedin French-language educator portion...

... educator percentage decreased sharply decreasedat more than one-third.


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