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Scared of driving - CBEST- Identify an obstacle you have faced in your life

meetuapril2005 1 / -  
Jan 27, 2021   #1

fear - just a state of mind

Everyone faces obstacles at some point in their lives. Whether these obstacles are physical, mental, emotional, or psychological, they keep people from achieving their goals. In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, identify an obstacle you have faced in your life, describe how it affected you, and explain how you either overcame it or learned how to work around it.

Obstacles are a part of human life. A true warrior always confronts obstacles with sincere efforts and courage. I had also faced a psychological obstacle when I was a teenager. My willingness to overcome my fear of driving along with my mother's advice helped me to confront that obstacle, and to get my driving license.

In July 2014, When I celebrated my sixteenth birthday, I was excited to get my driving license. Therefore, for my behind the wheel driving test, I was learning to drive a car from a local driving school instructor. Unfortunately, During those days, my best friend Marcy, who had gotten her driving license a few weeks ago, met with an accident while driving a car, and she died. This incident had such an extreme impact on my mind that I became afraid of driving, and I dropped the idea to get the driving license.

I was so scared of driving that I never even tried to drive in a parking lot. Fewer and then, my mother tried to convince me that I must learn to drive. Everytime I refused, "Mom, I do not want to die like Marcy." Until I graduated from high school, I never realized that the lack of a driving skill could be an obstacle for me because my high school was at walking distance from my home.

After high school, I got admission for bachelor's study at the university which was twenty miles away from my residence. To reach the university was the biggest problem for me, and to use the public transport bus was the only option for me. It was the time when I felt a dire need for a driving license. With a mixed feeling of fear and tension, I shared my problem to commute to the university with my mother.

While listening to the problem, My mother also made me realized that everyday I was wasting my precious two hours only on travel. I could save time for self-study If I drove myself to university. To overcome my fear of death: she explained that death is certain even if I would not drive a car. No one could escape from death. Only cowards were afraid of death. At the same time, she encouraged me that driving a car is not that complicated as I assumed.

Therefore, I decided to learn to drive, and within a few weeks, I got my driving license.
Later on, I realized that the biggest obstacle was just a state of my mind and it was fear. I became able to overcome my fear of driving a car when I directed my mind to do so, with my mother's suggestion and encouragement. I also realized that safe driving is an essential skill in today's world.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3341  
Jan 27, 2021   #2
Okay. I noticed that towards the middle part of the essay, you lost your focus on the topic you had presented, which was your fear of driving as being an obstacle to you getting to your university earlier. You somehow forgot that part when you stated that your fear was actually dying, without relating it to driving. In order to make this discussion clearer, you have to make sure that your 2 obstacles are proper connected from the beginning. In this case, your obstacle should have been presented as:

I have a fear of dying in a car accident. Therefore, learning how to drive became an obstacle for me.

By giving the reason for the obstacle at the start, the overall discussion would have been clearer. Your presentation actually ends up a bit muddled and difficult to understand at some points because of your reference to terms that do not relate to the overall sentence or paragraph presentation such as "Fewer and then".

You need to learn how to keep the obstacle and the reason together when referencing "fear of death" in the essay. You often focus on just death, without incorporating the "obstacle" in the discussion. This creates a fork in the discussion, separating the two topics, and making the actual obstacle confusing to the reader. Always unite the obstacle and the reason in the discussion to keep the clarity of the discussion presentation for the reader.

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