I need help on the CBEST writing essays-
Essay topic: issue essays-The school board at High School Z is considering raising the number of years of required physical education classes. The board will be voting on a proposal to raise the number of years students need to take physical education from one year to three years. Do you think the school board should increase the physical education requirement to three years? Support your opinion with specific examples.
The issue of increasing the number of years of required physical education classes in high school is a controversial one. Some prefers the idea of increasing the number of years of physical education because it enhances students' overal performance in school. Others oppose it because it is wasting time and suits only for athletic students. After careful thoughts, I believe that the board should increase the physical education requirments because it strenghtens students' physical body and also builds their competition and cooperation level, which enhances students' performance in school as well as in the society.
High School students are in a stage where they need to build a character and physical education can help them to build such important characters. Spending more time on physical activities with friends and classmates build up a stronger relationship and friendships. It also helps them to be competitive in a good way because there is cooperation skill built in between each other.
Second, increasing the number of the physical education from one to three hours is a good amount for students to spend. through this class, students can relax from other subjects such as math, English, and social studies. it builds up motivation and helps them to concentrate more on other subject by exericise. Humans need to take a break and need to move around because many people are kinesthetic. Indeed, students tends to remember things by using their bodies. If they are forced to study and not being able to do any physical activities, they will be lost their concentration easily.
Here are my suggestions
=> Some prefer the idea of increasing the number of years of physical education because it enhances students' overal performance in school (some is plural)
=> Others oppose it because it is wasting time and suiting only for athletic students (wasting~suiting=>parallel)
=>... education requirements because it strenghthens (spelling)
=> ...which enhance students' performance in school as well as in the society.
=> High School students are in a stage where they need to build a character, and physical education can help them to build such important characters.
=> Second, increasing the time from one to three hours of the physical education is a substantial amount for students. (place phrase next to its modifier)
=> Through this class, students can relax from other subjects such as math, English, and social studies (I don't think relax is very good in the meaning "balance out" better; e.g., students can balance out their critical thinking from other ...)
=> It builds... (always remember to capital after a period)
=> They need to take a break and need to move around because many people are kinesthetic=> (you use human because you mean "all of us", including you and I, but I think "they" technically correct
=> students tend to remember things by using their bodies=> this sentence need to be clear a bit, maybe you mean this: students tend to have better memorization if they move their body? OR something else?
I suppose you haven't finished yet right? I'm a cbest taker like you too! here is another topic for previous exam if you want to practice more; here you are: (1) which characteristics are admirable, discribe admired characteristics and support you point (2) if you have a chance to change U.S public education, what would it be, why?
Thank you so much for you help! Yes, I need to finish writing this essay. It would be awesome if we get to read each other's writing and give feedback. Writing in English is such a difficult task to me since it is my second language. But I will try my best to write more legibly and correctly so that I can pass CBEST. Thank you and good luck on your exam!
Hi Suyeon !
You did a good job on writing already. I heard the saying something like this "there is no perfect writing, just rewrite..." I was frustrated when I failed the test, but now I'm not mind much, for I have been trying my best. I'm working on the topic "school short vacation v.s long vacation". I know English is difficult for us, foreigners, because there are irregular verbs and tons of exceptional rules to remember
Thanks, Kathy! Isn't Kathy great?
Do not capitalize high school unless you are naming the high school...
High school students are...
I also have a suggestion for this first sentence:
The issue of increasing the number of years of students are required to participate in physical education classes in high school is a controversial one.
One person prefers, but more than one person prefer. English is strange!
Some prefer the idea of increasing the number of years...
Always capitalize the first word of every sentence.
:-)
hi Karla , can you please finish your essay and post it over here, Thank you!
