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Which should your school choose to buy -computer or books; 'advanced science'

aqeel 8 / 25 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #1
your school has enough money to purchase either books for students or computer for the library . which should your school choose to buy -computer or books?

During my thirty years, I learned a lot of things in my life, but an important thing is helping the student to learn advanced science. Many people thought that students have to study in the regular book. It is a great thing, however, more importantly, the student study in the computer to learn the advanced science. I prefer to purchase the computer for the students in my school, if I have to choose the books or the computers for many reasons.

At the first , the computer has many options , therefor the student can use it in the reading lessons. The computer has advanced program contain such as the reader book. This program can be used by the student simply. Also the computer has other programs. Such as database , power point , excel etc . when the student learn them , he/ she can be creative in other lessons such as math ,chemistry , physic , etc . Moreover , they can get a entertainment in the computer, as they can play the music or draw a beautiful paints. In short, the computer has many program that help the students in the lessons and get fun.

In addition , the computer was found where you are. if the students used to study in the computer in the school.Then They can use it in the other daily activities . For instance, they can excess to the Internet, and know many things about the science. In fact I have an experience in my city , the students who used to study by the computer get high degree in high school than the student who study by the book. In sum , the computer provide the students to learn many things in the world.

In the conclusion , I would like to purchase the computer to my school if I have money because the computer has a lot of programs which help the student in their study and it the student can use the computer to excess the internet . I am sure the students learning will be better ,weather they used the computer in their study

vivyyyy - / 5 1  
Dec 28, 2012   #2
Your answer to the question is well written, but I would fix the awkward spaces between every comma. It's unnecessary to have a space between any punctuation

Please press "like" on my comment on the far right of this post :)
sjmzzz95 7 / 13 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #3
-should be "in conclusion"
-you provide good ideas to back up your opinion!
-should be whether, not "weather"
-physics, not "physic"
-don't say etc, it seems to casual
-draw a beautiful painting
-access, not "excess"
OP aqeel 8 / 25 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #4
thank you
I appreciate your feedback. I did the essay revision with your accurate notes.

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