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My School Days (school article)


stephenie 3 / 10  
Aug 20, 2012   #1
MY SCHOOL DAYS

Everyone's school days have the memories they can cherish and treasure for life. School days are the most joyful and funfilled with many mysteries to solve and many fights to resolve.

In my school days, I had many friends and some foes. We used to gossip and play and some times fight over silly things. I had two best friends. They were very nice and loyal to me. Every teacher in my school liked us, although we weren't brilliant students in fact were average ones but still we respected our elders and loved our youngers. Since my childhood, I've never been complaining to anyone for anything, actually I never needed to since I had everything I needed or wanted.I miss my school days since it was all about having fun and no competetions. The most exciting part used to be 'the exchange of lunch boxes'. Usually me and my best friend liked each other's lunch and soon developed a habit of exchanging lunches. Apart from sharing lunches, we also used to share our silly secrets.

We used to play our own created games and draw for fun. We also used to have bets and treats for rewards on childish things but we never played pranks on anyone. My childhood was indeed really amazing and simple. We found fun in subtle but beautiful things. It was surely surrealistic but was also hilarious at times. In my school days, we sometimes used to play in the rains, make paper boats, eat ice-creams and enjoy every drop of water and after getting all bathed up in water we used to have hot chocolate drinks.

These were some of the stuff of my school and childhood, as I remember them, which I cherish today as sweet memories. I wish God makes everyone's childhood days as carefree and jovial as mine.

Please help me out with this essay. This is my article for school.Thanking you in anticipation!
OP stephenie 3 / 10  
Aug 21, 2012   #2
Please anyone do the corrections if any. I'll be highly obliged. Thanking you in anticipation.
KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Aug 23, 2012   #3
HI, Sadaf)
You say that this essay is for school article( so i infer you still study in school), but the title is My School Days( so i infer the school days passed). So it leads me to a confusion, maybe you meant school days in elementary school?

School days are one of the most joyful moments of existence , fun filled with many mysteries to solve and many fights to resolve

In my school days, I had manyfriends and some foes . We used to gossip(it reads like you gossiped both with your friends and enemies ) and play and some times fight over silly things. I had two best friends. They were very nice and loyal to me.( the overall these sentences flow not very well)

, although we weren't brilliant students , in fact , were average ones , but still we respected our elders and loved our youngers.

needed tosince I had everything I needed or wanted.I miss my school days since it was
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 23, 2012   #4
Since

Repetition. use synonym

Do not use contractions in writing. Avoid using "don't", "weren't" and the like.

we also used to shareuncovered our silly secrets.

In my school days, we sometimes used to playinunder the rains

some of the stuff

it is an informal expression. Revise it

as I remember them

---> suggestion: "As far as my memory helps"; "As far as I remember"
OP stephenie 3 / 10  
Aug 25, 2012   #5
@KhanhZ..thanks a lot for your help :)
@ah_zafari..I see I've got to improve a lot..thanks fr your help!


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