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School and parent, two important things that influence character of children


ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Aug 27, 2016   #1
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Being kind and good citizen of society should be taught since children age. Some people believe that is the parent's responsibility while others tell it has to be learnt in school. In my view, these environments, school and family equally have an important role to build their children's character.

Children is a hope for a nation's future. It is essential to form a good personality for them in order to be a useful people in their society. To make it happens, school and parent have to co-operate each other. They have to take action to avoid the bad influences happened to children. As we know, two places that children spend their time most at are school and home. Children usually study at school about 8 - 10 hours a day. After that, they go home and gather with their family. Therefore, school and family give a big influence to children.

So, what can parent and school do to build a good character for their children? First, the parent have to be a good role model for them, teach them what should do and what should not do, how to act polite and friendly, also helpful to others. Family is the first place to learn something. Everything always starts from home.

Next, teachers in school can facilitate their student to make a good habit such as coming to school on time, behaving discipline, loving their friends and so on. Headmaster can also make some regulations to support their character building such as making a reading programme before starting the class about 15 minutes, obligating the student to bring a healthy lunchbox everyday, gardening time on Saturday, parental meeting, and so on. By parental meeting, school and parents can communicate each other and discuss about their children.

To conclude, school and parents should care and act together to give the best education for their children, in order to build their character and create them to be the best generation in future. Certainly, it should be done together in collaboration.
ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 27, 2016   #2
Being a kind and good citizen

these environments, school and family,equallynoticeably have an equal important role to build their children's character

Children is aare hope for a nation's future

It is essential to form a good personality forof them

schools and parents have to co-operate each other=> you should use plural noun for your subjects because you need a general meaning in this sentence

Nextin addition , teachers in school can facilitate their => appropriate word transitions can add marks for your essay
Jettypile - / 9 3  
Aug 27, 2016   #3
Rephrasing "Children is a hope for a nation's future" to Today's children are essential for a nation's tomorrow.

"It is essential to form a good personality for them " It is essential to allow children to develop healthy personalities....

" First, the parent have to be a good role model ..." I would recommend rephrasing it to something like
"Firstly,The parents have and important role to play by teaching them what can and cannot be done,how to act politely,and also to assist others."

"their student to make a good habit" --> their students to develop good habits

"behaving discipline, loving their friends and so on" Dont say "and so on" end it like "behaving in an appropriate manner,and caring for their friends"

"school and parents can communicate each other and discuss about their children" This sentence states that school has children.Rephrase it to
"The parents can work with the school to think of ideas which would benefit their children"

All in all its a good essay BUT it can become a great essay by using better diction , improving grammar ,and utilizing expressions
I did not take into consideration the arguments points but from what i can understand you may need to tweak your bodyparagraphs to stay concise and to the point. My strategy is P.E.E Point Example Explain

Anyways good luck.
hirani03 36 / 50 5  
Aug 27, 2016   #4
Hi ashelarisa48. I hope the corrections helping you.

Some people believe that (need subject)it is the parent's responsibility ...

... give a big influence to children. it is better to vary by using pronoun 'them'.

... teach them what should they do and what should not do , how to act polite and ...

Certainly, it should be done together in collaboration.(redundancy. together and collaboration have same meaning)
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Aug 28, 2016   #5
Being kind and good[redundancy, both words deliver same meaning]citizen of societyshould be taughtsince children age. [too general, and possibly confused ]

How if you say: to be such a decent citizen should be taught to children since the very early years.

Some people believe that IT is theparent'sparents' responsibility while others...
In my view, these environments, school and family equally have an important role to build their children's character.[it is inappropriate to mentioning 'their children' where ''their'' refers to school and parents. it sounds that school is having children]thus, you can simply erase 'their''

It is essential to formshape/develop a good personality for ...
... action to avoid the bad influences[ what kind of influences?] happened to children.
Therefore, both school and family give ...

it is good that you deliver an explanation why you think school and parents are having equal responsibility, means that you compose your essay straightly according to your opinion in introduction

So, what can parent and school do to build a good character for their children?[instead of write a question, you can simply write : there are some viable strategies which can be carried out by parents and school to shape character of children]. First, the parentS have to be a good role (...) and friendly, also being helpful to others. Family is the first place to learn something.

Headmaster can also make some regulations to support their character building such as ...[how these good habits affect children to be a good member of society? ]it is suddenly hard to follow your idea here .

dear
,i found that you have such a bold idea in your essay. however, please concern about some comments that i give to you here. keep writing


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