Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion!
It is argued that school should provide extra activities for student which goals are to enable them to have excellently parental skills in the future since being parents is extremely hard and requires series completion of obligation. However, some notice this notion is not essential to be conducted. I also concur that such particular course is not significant and would not be useful because children will grow naturally and they will find their own to be qualified parents.
Regarding to the first idea stating that parental program for children with the aim to prepare them to become skilled-parents is important, it may be appears after witnessing the reality of parental livelihood which is full of trouble and confuse when taking care children and family. As an illustration, several adults were reported to get troubled to manage household expenditure aside the process of nurturing their own early year children. In addition, by having such training, it is expected that upcoming young people could organize and tackle their family affairs perfectly, however, it seems so meaningless since the children would not understand and be aware kind of this complicated subject.
In reverse, becoming good parents does not need special education as mentioned above, they will understand as they grow up. The reason is that they learn those matters from social life, environment, and their family specifically. Let take student as an example, a plenty challenges they will possibly encounter in the lifetime. As a result, either they feel consciously or unconsciously, these make them more responsible and mature grown up.
In conclusion, it is confirmed that children will find abundant way to be talented parents someday from surrounding and community without being prepared by peculiar parenthood training that is likely to be meaningless.
You have good ability in writting essay and you could deliver the interesting idea. However, I thought you should add one or more sentences in conclusion because a paragraf is not enough with one sentence only.
Muhammad, in this essay, I am not sure if you are using the right example. I seem to recall this same prompt being used as a practice test previously but the people involved were teenagers and not children. Are you sure you took down the prompt correctly? Somehow I feel like you missed something in the interpretation of the prompt.
You have a problem sentence in your opening statement. There is an incomplete subject presentation or line of reasoning in the sentence that indicates:
I also concur that such particular course is not significant and would not be useful because children will grow naturally and they will find their own to be qualified parents.
What exactly do you mean? The children will find their own what in order to become qualified parents? When the thought process is not complete, the paragraph does not make any sense to the reader. I suggest that you revise that line and complete what it was that you were trying to say. It is important that you do so for the proper grading of your essay. Your high grade all depends upon how well you can make the examiner believe that you understood and responded to the prompt in the proper manner.
I like the intersting idea in your passage. However, there may be a few grammer mistakes.
itmay beappears after witnessing .... → maybe
be aware kind of ? I don't understand what you want to express I am not sure if it is ok to use the phrase like that
In reverse, becoming good parents does not need special education as mentioned above, they will understand as they grow up.
I think there should be a conjunction here, because there are two verbs in one sentence