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Schools from different areas report that students tend to have behavioral problems


nurannisaputry92 36 / 27 2  
Mar 27, 2016   #1
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

As it is commonly understood that school influence the way of student's think and behavior. Schools in different part report that students tend to have behavioral problems. This essay will examine the reasons why this phenomenon is occurring and discuss some possible solutions.

There are some predominant factors why student behave inappropriately. Firstly, the way of society business today affects student's behavioral model. For example, parents tend to consider spending a great deal of time in workplace rather than home in which there is no control from parents. As a result, children tend to imitate what they see in television or internet without thinking is it good or not due to lack of parental guidance.

Furthermore, another aspect that influences student behavior is the environment at school. Adolescent prefer to absent the class to play a video games affecting the mindset of the children these days. A lot of children are behaving aggressively and offensively due to the games that they play often which shows a violence and vulgar images. Consequently, plenty young generation thinks that fighting and destructive act is a common and usual activity. Undoubtedly, video games damage the mentality of child.

Nevertheless, there are potential ways to solve these problems or at least reduce the effects. Firstly, parents and teacher should deal with controlling the children activities in which avoid them to use the technology without monitoring of parents and teacher. Secondly, parents should spend a quality time to observe the activity or to pay attention more what they do and run. In addition, teacher should cope with this problem by giving them moral and attitude lesson. This will help them how to respect each other.

To sum up, although there are some factors of detrimental student's behavior, there are some steps that parents and educators can take to diminish its effects. If both of parents and tutors are to save our children attitudes, it is essential that this is treated as priority for all concerned.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Mar 27, 2016   #2
Here are a few things that could be changed:

As it is commonly understood,that school influences the way of student's thought and behavior.

Some schools in different part report that students tend to have behavioral problems.
This will helpteach them how to respect each other.

You made some very good points, like the amount of time children spend unsupervised, and the way they might imitate video games. Good luck with school.
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Mar 27, 2016   #3
Hi Nurranisaputri92. here my comments. keep writing. thanks

the way of student's think and behavior--> 'think' is verb meanwhile 'behavior' is noun. thus it can be related by 'and'. you should write:the way of student think and behave [no possession mark] or the student's thinking and behavior

Schools in different part - -> incomplete sentence, in part of what? thus,you should write : schools in different countries/schools in different part of world

why this phenomenon is occurring --> occurs

the way of society business --> the way of society doing/conducting business
parents tend to consider spending a great deal of time in workplace rather than home in which there is no control from parents. -->unclear sentence. parents are likely to stay in office which there is no control from them?? pay attention to this sentence, it is hard to understand

you used 'the way of' and 'tend to' twice, in introduction and body 1. it might be consider as boring writing style. you need to use various writing style

Adolescent prefer to absent the class to play a video gamesaffecting the mindset o f the children these days. --> which affecting their mindset

due to the games a violence and vulgar images --> singular/plural issue

plenty OF young generationS thinks
that fighting and destructive act --> unequal. fighting and destructive acting
the technology without monitoring of parents and teacher. --> too general, make it clear what kind of technology
to pay attention more what they do and run. --> more attention

there are some steps --> step means it must be in order. use measures


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