Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
more entertainment or sticking to the old ways of teaching?
There is a heated debate over whether schools should provide entertainment teaching standards or should only concentrate on education policy. In my opinion, schools should encourage children's development skills by using entertainment methodology. This essay will analyse both statements and use examples from my own experience to demonstrate point and prove arguments.
Firstly, traditional education system has always been under public scrutiny. There is an idea that children tend to boost faster their interpersonal skills at young age by interacting with objects and communicate with their peers. This is due to the fact that children's cognitive development is effectively being formed and modeled in that case external factors of entertainment such as play games can support and foster their mental and physical well-being. For example, my son becomes really smart by recognising objects and sounds through the iPad. Therefore, if the purpose of traditional education is only educate children, it would hardly believe that children's development skill can be adequately set up but modern entertainment techniques can revitalizes such skills.
Secondly, traditional pedagogical techniques based on students doing homework and listening teaching can be useful on occasion. A recent study from IMT indicates that schools in UK are adopting new educational techniques since 2015, the results of this study is students are prone to awake their curiosity and creativity and the desire to learn. Therefore, schools should implement new teaching methodology as a way of delivering teaching quality with the purpose of educating people.
To conclude, it is important to improve our teaching method, different teaching techniques have emerged significantly over the time. I firmly agree that school should be more embrace entertainment rather than follow old ways of teaching. In the future, new teaching methodologies will continue to emerge.For me, it is a little bit short for the third paragraph. Maybe you can try to emphasize more about your core statement instead of give examples only. Nevertheless, you did good job on describing your main idea.
First, there's no need for sentences like:
"This essay will analyse both ...".
Secondly, some of your word choices cannot precisely express your meaning, like:
"... children's development skills by ..."
- I'm not sure "skills" can be "encouraged", and it should be "entertaining methodology".
"For example, my son becomes ..."
- It's too general to make a sound example.
Hi renzito,
I think there're some aspects you need to work on more to make your essay better.
- Task response: I think you're off the topic. You talked about the necessity in improving education methodology, rather than picking a side and supporting it.
- Lexical resource: I'm amazed at the range of vocabulary you have and your ability to use them appropriately. Keep on your good work here!
- Grammar, I think you should include complex structures. It'll help to improve your band.
Hope my advice can help you. Good luck!
